Cold Shoulder

Tow the line. Stay active. Don’t miss too many days, or you'll be out of the circle of trust. You're thinking about college, right? Maybe the club popped into your head, or a social circle. Maybe it’s social media that makes you hear those words in your head. None of the above. Church. That has been the one thing that has failed us all along.

Faithful believers all over the world consistently attend weekly worship services. Many attend classes or are otherwise engaged in the church, synagogue, or mosque. Some get involved to find a community, out of obligation, actual or implied, and some because they just like being involved.

It is not an awful place to do that. Gathering with like-minded friends who can support and encourage you is good for the spirit. This offers a great way to bolster your faith, as well as your faith in your deity. So, you go every week, stay engaged, join everything you have time for, have lunch with the ladies or the guys regularly, and offer your home generously to everyone. This could be your joy and habit for months, years, or even decades. Then changes come, and you miss some time or become inconsistent. The dead of silence engulfs your day.

What happened? This is the biggest fault and failure of the church today. I use church, but I mean all religions. When you stop being diligent in your attendance, the church abandons you. No questions asked. You are now on the outside.

I don’t fault religion or God for that. No, it is neither of their faults. It is strictly the people's fault, the believers. They have failed to live out their faith with fellow believers. For lack of a better description, it is like shunning. They turn their backs and cut and run. You can come back, but they make you feel you have to re-earn your place and welcome. Why does that occur? It’s not supposed to be like that.

We are supposed to love one another. Treat your neighbor as you treat yourself. Love, kindness, and welcoming are mantras drummed to death. Yet adherence to them is lacking.

It disturbs me that I can almost live at church, host an open house every day and at any time for all my fellow believers, and that when I miss a couple of weeks or take a break from being engrossed, my friendships seem to die. They all fall off the face of the earth.

They don’t call; they don’t come by, or ask you over. It’s as if you are persona non grata.

That is not the way it is supposed to be. It’s a shameful thing that continues year after year. This behavior turns people off to believers. They appear one way and then behave another.

For the record, this is not how it is supposed to be. We are not supposed to be fair-weather friends. We are not supposed to be tit-for-tat or quid pro quo in our relationships. Love is not conditional, right? Apparently, that’s wrong.

Whatever the reason for the disconnect, religion remains full of judgmental and conditional love. When will we learn?

If you are there for someone, be there no matter what. If you love someone, love them no matter what. And if someone has been a friend to you, be a friend to them without condition. This is God’s way. Have we learned nothing from Him over the millennia on Earth?

I’ll tell you, it is not a shock or surprise when it happens. It’s not. That is a sad statement, but it is unfortunately true.

I don’t fault God for this. Not at all. We fail Him all the time, but we always have a choice in how we behave and treat one another. I don’t blame religion, per se. Religion is simply an organization of believers under doctrinal constraints.

I blame us, the believers, those who profess their faith yet do not put it into action. The tightly bound hierarchy within the churches that live this out is to blame as well. Preach what you practice and practice what you preach.

Either love or don’t love; don’t pretend, and don’t make your love contingent on your attendance and availability to be involved at all times. We get enough conditional love in the world. We don’t need it in our faith, too. Be better. Do better.

If you can’t do that, please don’t tell anyone you are a faithful believer and follower of God. You follow your own version, not His.

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