Can I whip it into shape?

How hard could it be, to write an absurd story? After all, life is one constant struggle reigning in absurd behaviour and thinking. Strolling alongside the creek with my daughter and beloved dog, I shared my ‘brilliant’ story ideas. Then I hustled home to record them before they fell out of my sieve of a brain.

*

First Draft excerpt of "New Friends":

“Have I morphed into a Rally driver?” A light rain sprinkled onto the bitumen. A busy five-way round-a-bout swiftly approached. Today, Blue Bug decisively committed to the outside lane and swam through with a slight tail slide. “Definitely rally driving!” Several songs later, work appeared ahead. Instead of parking out front in the sun, Blue Bug unerringly turned into a slot up the hill, under a shady tree. “Hmm, smart move.”

Crispy, autumn leaves skittered ahead of me as the doors yawned open automatically. ‘Just another day at the office’… with its usual chilly welcome. Frigid air huffed from the air conditioner into the empty cavern. Tap tap tap, echoed my black patent leather shoes. Morning is the best time of day. Devoid of pesky people interrupting, wasting my time.

Half on hour of blissful peace and quiet to tidy the bookshelves! Returned books nestled on the trolley, patiently waiting to rejoin their library community. Setting Ally Carter’s “All Fall Down” beside its sequel “See How They Run” I heard a low murmur.

Why can’t you put me next to someone else for a change? I’m bored sitting here until some kid decides to take me home for a while.

Stunned into responding, I say, “That’s your place. You’re number one in the series.”

So? I’d have so much more fun between “Take the Key and Lock Her Up” and “Heist Society”. I’d still be with my series. Besides, CAR is printed plainly on my spine. Don’t you teach students to read any more? Surely they can find me just one book away. Please!

I can’t believe I’m chatting with a book, but ‘Hey, let’s go with it!’

*

Self-editing process:

On a reread I aim to correct any spelling and grammatical errors. Thankfully, whatever I miss is usually picked up by Vocal’s wonderful creator Dharrsheena! Next, I attempt to vary vocabulary by selecting synonyms and checking definitions, while editing out extraneous words. I then add any italics, bold and dialogue formatting I fancy. I do a final read through to check flow and consistency of tense. Lastly, I hold my breath and publish my latest creative attempt for you all… hoping that it won’t unduly try your patience!

*

Final version of "New Friends" excerpt:

A thought flits through my mind, “Have I mutated into a Rally driver?” Light rain sprinkles the bitumen. An octopus-like roundabout zooms towards us. Today, Blue Bug swerves into the left lane and swims through the noisy swamp with a slight tail slide. Definitely rally driving! Several songs later, work appears ahead. Instead of parking out front in the sun, Blue Bug unerringly turns into a slot up the hill, under a shady tree. “Hmm, smart move.”

Crispy, autumn leaves skitter ahead of me as the doors yawn open automatically. ‘Just another day at the office’… with its usual chilly welcome. Frigid air huffs from the air conditioner into the empty cavern. Tap tap tap, echo my black patent leather shoes. Morning is the best time of day. Devoid of pesky people interrupting, wasting my time.

Half an hour of blissful peace and quiet to tidy the bookshelves! Returned library books nestle on the trolley, patiently waiting to rejoin their library community. Setting Ally Carter’s “All Fall Down” beside its sequel “See How They Run” I hear a low grumble.

Can’t you put me next to someone else for a change? It’s boring sitting here until some kid decides to borrow me. Don’t get me started on ‘Home Stays’! It took you 67 weeks to retrieve me from that last one! I had Hay fever the whole time… lying under his bed with dust-bunnies, dirty socks and Daddy Long Legs spiders.

Stunned into responding, I say, “But that’s your place. You’re number one in the series.”

So? It would be far more enjoyable between “Take the Key and Lock Her Up” and “Heist Society”. I’d still be with my series. Besides, my spine label clearly reads CAR. Don’t you teach students to read any more? Surely, they can find me just one book away. Please!

I can’t believe I’m chatting with a book, but hey, let’s go with it!

*

Now I need to make haste and finish writing this story, New Friends!

*

Here it is, in all its ’glory’!

Written for the Self-Editing Epiphany Challenge: