A Love That Sits Immovable as Stone

I have a backlog of stories of all lengths waiting for one reason or another - many over a decade old by now. One is more disappointing to watch sit than the rest, because it's simultaneously one of the shortest and most complete tales I have planned.

Every time I look at it, it turns me to stone. Fitting, but frustrating.

It started out with a prompt shared on Facebook probably over 10 years ago:

"Write a story about a blind woman who falls in love with Medusa".

I was instantly hooked on the idea: the modern tellings of the tale have Medusa center as a tragic figure, violated by Poseidon in Athena's temple. Athena cannot punish Poseidon; she seeks vengeance not for the violation of Medusa, but for Poseidon doing so in her temple. Instead of dealing justice to the offender, further tragedy and betrayal befalls Medusa when Athena transforms her into a hideous Gorgon. This transformation leaves Medusa with snakes for hair, oftentimes tusks, and always a petrifying gaze to any who meet her eyes. Even if actually done "for her benefit" as some people like to claim (to keep men from harming her again)... yikes.

The idea of giving that tragic version of the mistreated Gorgon something soft... Of pairing a creature capable of turning all who meet her gaze to stone with someone who is unaffected by that gaze...

Oh yes. Mama like. Mama likes a lot. It's the type of premise that invokes an immediate yes. The prompt practically writes the story itself.

The plot for my short story, tentatively titled, "The Last Lover of Medusa" has been planned out for years. I have a playlist over 19 hours long dedicated to this short story. I know the vibes I want throughout, the whole story up to the bitter, tragic end (I mean, we know how Medusa ends up, so it was never going to be a happy ending...). I can tell the story to myself and it doesn't sound rushed or sloppy or forced. I'm excited for it; love it - a true rarity.

I think it would do well enough for a short story if I were to publish it: Medusa, her blind lover. A trip to the underworld. A bittersweet tale; softness wrapped with biting wounds. To tell it here would be to write it in full.

But, there are a few hiccups...

Starting small, the first hiccup is combining several versions of the story I've started, all handwritten; they don't seamlessly meld, especially in terms of tenses. Minor enough, but it does put me off a bit. Worse, I can't make up which I want to use. Tense can change the whole feel or trajectory of a story, and while it's fairly easy to correct when typed and things can be electronically found and replaced, I look at all versions and freeze up with indecision. Moreover, I'd really like to just type this thing once, ideally.

If a random short story is this annoying, imagine my larger projects with multiple takes for just about every scene! The less versions I have taking up space with similar names, the better!

Then, there is the question of where to publish these days, especially with older versions of Kindle no longer able to download new items. For now, I assume I'll still publish through Kindle, but recent years have me questioning that more and more. Bad enough to move away from physical copies to digital; now the digital items you thought you owned aren't even yours!

Further immobilizing is the overwhelming encroachment of Artificial Intelligence into writing tasks; everyone thinks everything is AI. Why bother publishing if no one will read it? Especially given how poorly writing pays to begin with? What's the appeal of an actual writer to a growing number of users? They can just plug that prompt into an AI generator and "make" their "own" version.

Hell, I have done that with fan fiction: I didn't want to write the idea fully, I wanted to read something that obeyed my prompt. Give me the instant gratification of someone writing a story for me bit by bit instead of me having to write what I want to read for my own entertainment. That, "I want this to exist so I can read it, but it doesn't exist and now I have to write it" problem. I get it. I get it.

But that doesn't mean it doesn't make it an issue for writers. For now, all I can do is write and try to sell.

There's some slight hesitation about writing lesbian fiction as a heterosexual woman... There's a lot of ways I could write something offensive, lacking, or foolish. These days, there's also the fear of being attacked for being perceived as gay because I write such a scene - even though I'm not a lesbian or bisexual. It's almost like I write fiction, and multiple points of view! It's not enough to stop me, but I am hyper aware that what I write in this story can be used either for or against lesbians and bisexuals; good, bad, or indifferent. I'm aiming for good, but intention only holds so much weight.

Still, after the violation by Poseidon, such a pairing seems... poetic. To have tenderness and care after such violence...

The biggest and most direct issue for this particular short story I think, however, is actually deciding on the personalities of Medusa and her blind lover. It's not really something that's been touched on from the versions I've read, heard, or seen. Do I go with one version I've written? The other? Split the difference and give Medusa both polar opposites in the character arc? The blind lover's personality partly depends on Medusa's, and therein lies the problem.

For once, the story developed long before the characters.

And it drives me nuts.

It's so close. It often feels like the mental equivalent of trying to start a chainsaw that just won't start; it's making noise and it's trying, but it just won't go. I've mentally rehearsed this story I don't even know how many times over the last decade. I know exactly how I want the story to go - but I don't know who my characters are in it. I know how they meet, what they go through in this short tragedy, how their story ends.

But I don't know if Medusa is hostile or lonely or both. Her lover is a bland blank beyond having soft edges in this short, awaiting direction from the main character.

Once I sort them out, though...

I might be able to get that metaphorical chainsaw running full tilt and sculpt the tale in full.

I hold some hope that being held back for so long has let me really define the rest; we know stories of creators who couldn't practice their craft for years on end, only to masterfully execute their visions in breathtaking detail when given the chance. I'm not saying it will be a marble masterpiece, but I think the story will be utterly polished by the time I do manage to produce it.

Here's hoping...

It's certainly no fun being petrified by the Gorgon; I really hope this curse breaks soon.

I just want to give Medusa something soft. A moment of tenderness amid Poseidon's attack, Athena's betrayal, the number of men who still sought her out to kill her after her transformation, and the final encounter that slew her.

I've a beautiful tale in mind, sculpted from and in tragedy.

And I can't wait to finally share it.