Old dudes playing Soccer

We went out to dinner on Saturday night to a restaurant down the viaduct called Hello Beasty. New Zealand "fusion cuisine" whatever that means, we were about to discover.

The evening got off to a really good start. A short wait at the bar with tasty craft beers and dry Ozeki sake. Excellent service, good looking knowledgeable staff, interesting décor, graffiti art on the walls and clean toilets with laid back tunes grooving in the background.

We were shown to a nice spacious table where we started with spicy kimchi and a sashimi platter. Minimal but excellent quality and presentation. The sashimi selection of Bigeye Tuna, NZ King Salmon, Snapper and Kingfish was perfect, and the wasabi kicked ass. Unlike the old dudes of Go Feet trying to play football earlier in the day.

The first course of soft-shell crab was crunchy on the outside, soft in the middle, somewhat porous, dead and motionless on the plate a lot like the Go Feet defence today with a nice spicy plum dipping sauce.

The Hello Beasty signature dish is an innovative prawn and crab toast with seared wagyu beef on top. Crunchy toast with a salty surf & turf topping. Oh my god what a taste sensation! Crazy combinations, art on a plate that tantalised the taste buds and tickled the top shelf like the curious Go Feet Goalkeeper has been known to do late at night.

Next up was the crispy Chinese pork belly with Sichuan pepper sauce. Generous portions, crunchy crackling and tender pork was nicely done. The meat melted in one's mouth just as the Go Feet strikers melted under pressure today. The sweet, sticky sauce had flavour but was a little bit off target, a lot like the Go Feet strikers at the moment.

Then we had a sharing plate of slow-cooked Kaipara lamb shoulder. Rich, tasty, saucy, tender and flaky. You could run right through it with little resistance like the Go Feet midfield at the moment.

It was an excellent meaty meal accompanied by loads of beer and sake. Culinary influences from around the Pacific Rim wedded beautifully with quality New Zealand produce. We wandered around the viaduct for a bit, found a bar next to the lapping water and I ordered a whiskey sour. By the end of the night, I was happily drunk, and my legs didn't work. Was it too much sake? Or am I just really uncoordinated? Maybe my legs have never worked properly. Those hairy appendages that try to sustain me through life. Constantly thrusting me upright in a futile attempt to defy gravity. My stupid legs certainly let me down today. They did not obey instructions and do as they were told.

As I staggered around the viaduct, I began to wonder about the nature of reality. Perception and memory. Do our brains accurately interpret what we see? Or not. I looked around at the teeming masses, the people's faces, the bright lights, my beautiful partner, my charming friends. Do I know these people? Do I know myself? Did that really happen? Did Go Feet really lose 2-0 to the South Auckland Rangers earlier in the day? Or am I hallucinating. Were there magic mushrooms in the salad? Ecstasy in the air? Fugu sashimi? Do they really need Rangers in South Auckland? Or is this all just a waking dream. So many questions. Life as a simulation. God's flawed experiment.

Reality or fantasy, I can highly recommend Hello Beasty and sake is an excellent way to forget your footballing troubles.

And the good thing about football is that there is always another game.