Who's the real Monster?

Drive faster dad!! I woke up from my reoccurring nightmare. I thought I was finally done with those. Groggily sitting up I saw that the fire had died down, everyone was still asleep, and the moon was high in the sky. Turning my head to see both Ed and Matt were close by. I'm glad that neither one of them were startled awake. Good thing they didn't try to sleep cuddle me. Not like I would let that happen Nightmare butted in.

Augh! Why do you always have to ruin the mood by saying your two cents when it's not needed?

I don't have money.

Oh for fuck's sake! That's a saying, a figure of speech.

I'm a very literal being.

Fuck! I can't deal with you right now.

You're stuck with me for life.

Why the hell did I say 'yes'? Better yet why didn't you kill me? You destroy everything you touch.

I thought you wanted to live?

I did and still do. That doesn't mean I want to live with you inside me.

Why?

You wouldn't understand.

Tell me why!

Inhaling deeply I said I HATE YOU! I hate that you've literally taken everything from me. My family, my friends, my life, now my body and mind. Now I can't even kill you or myself anymore. I made a promise to people I care about. So from now I will live miserably with you inside me. I will never forgive you.

You hate me for wanting to live?

Live? Do you even know how to live?

No.

Living is what you do when you have people you love. Friends, family, even pets. I had all of those and you took each and everyone of them from me. You turned me into a freak of nature. Everyone is afraid of me.

You've always had a piece of my kind since the day you were conceived.

Knowing that Nightmare is right I felt something wet on my cheeks. Wiping away tears I had no idea how long I had been crying. Carefully getting up I made sure not to make a sound or alert anyone.

Taking my clothes off I left them at the edge of the group under a towel that somebody brought. Walking back into the water the tide was high due to the full moon. I kept walking until I could no longer stand. The first wave that engulfed me I let my body sink. Everything that happened today came crashing into me. The fear, blood, the darkness flooded my mind. A question repeated in my head Why did I survive? Why? I kept asking myself.

As my tears were absorbed into the salt water around me I could no longer hold everything in anymore. I screamed under the water until there was no more air left in my lungs. My body forced me to the surface. Coughing out the water it was quickly replaced with air again.

Completely drained my body could barely float without ingesting more water. I prayed for the first time in years "Papi, Nana, Dad, Mom, and little one I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I just miss you so damn much. I should've been with all of you instead. Please forgive me."

I stayed in the water until all the tears leaked out of my eyes. Taking in a deep breathe I felt a bitter sweetness filling my heart. With unfocused eyes I looked to the night sky. Seeing all the stars above I remembered the joke Nightmare told me. Giggling again I felt my muscles uncoil. As exhaustion began to sink into my bones I felt Nightmare leave my body. The feeling of arms wrapped around my neck and the back of my knees I thought it was Ed taking me back to shore. Looking up to see those red eyes looking ahead then back at me I understood that Nightmare is always watching and listening.

Nightmare used the towel on the beach to dry me off. My body and bones felt too heavy for me to fight back. I felt my eyelids get heavy and slowly drifted to sleep. Unsure if I heard Nightmare say or think anything I fell into a dreamless sleep.

~

"Z...Z...it's time to wake up" a familiar voice called to me. Turning onto my other side I mumbled "Go away." Someone gave me a gentle nudge before adding on "Ed is making breakfast." My body reacted on it's own at the mention of food.

Slowly opening my eyes I noticed something different. The sand didn't look the same shade of grey as when I fell asleep. It looked to be a beige if I had to guess. My vision traveled to the trees. Colors? Getting closer I could see green, brown, and yellow. I can see colors again.

Turning around to see that it was Matt who stirred me from my sleep. He backed up with a gasp. Taking a closer look at his face I saw genuine worry. "What's wrong?" I asked. "You're eyes..." he replied. Making eye contact with everyone close by all of them let out a gasp or a 'woah' at the look of me.

Quickly getting up to run to the water I got down on my knees to see that my eyes had changed entirely. My sclera used to be completely black with a red slit. Now the white returned and only one of my irises is still red, the other a sea green. In disbelief I shook my head and closed my eyes tightly. Nothing changed as I opened my eyes again.

Turning around to see Matt a little more composed he kept his distant. As I got closer he didn't step back. Taking a good look at him I noticed that Matt's complexion is a little on the light side, his hair is a dark brown, and his eyes a beautiful dark blue with a light hue around the pupil. Unable to stop myself I felt my hands lift to my mouth in shock.

"Are you ok Z?" Matt asked.

With a smile I answered "Never better. I can see colors now."

"You couldn't before?"

"Before I was colorblind I could only see black, white, and shades of grey. Now I can see colors, your eyes are the most beautiful blue I've ever seen." Shocked Matt started to blush slightly with that compliment.

"I have to go, I need a mirror" I said running to the building. Unsure if Matt or anyone tried to say anything to me I could only hear the pounding of my heart. Running past everyone who was in my way I went for the only place I knew would have a mirror.

Rushing into the bathroom I was thankful that nobody was in or leaving. Taking a deep breathe I kept my eyes down. My heartbeat still in my ears I took a few deep breathes. Trying to calm myself I was also working up the courage to see my reflection. All this time I had been avoiding it. Every accidental glimpse filled me with even more self-loathing. I'm even more afraid now.

I have to know I thought. Lifting my head to the mirror I slowly opened my eyes, continuing to see colors. Looking at everywhere that wasn't the mirror I caught sight of my sclera. They weren't black anymore. Taking a closer look I saw that my eyes were almost normal except that now I have heterochromia with my right eye sea green again and my left red. "How?" I asked out loud.

Nightmare answered We are becoming one.

Watching a tear roll down my cheek I could feel that this was temporary. Why are you sad? Nightmare asked. My reflection matched what Ed told me before. Because of this. My eyes are barely normal for a second and now they're right back to, I hate to say it normal again I reply. My eyes went back to the temporary look again as Nightmare commented I'll leave you alone then.

A knock at the door startled me. After a couple of seconds I replied "Occupied." Ed asked "Z, are you ok?" Quickly turning around I grabbed the doorknob to keep them from opening it. Using my weight against the door I answered "Yeah I'll be out in a sec." Ed replied "Matt told me that something happened to you eyes."

Taking in a deep breathe I let go of the doorknob, turned around, then waited for Ed to open it. Looking at them for the first time I saw that their skin tone is almost the same as mine. Unlike Matt, Ed has dark brown eyes with hair that's so dark it's almost black. "Your eyes?" he asked shocked.

"Yeah" was all I could reply. Matt was by their side trying to catch his breathe.

"How?" Ed asked.

With a shrug I replied "Nightmare said something I don't agree with, so I'm trying to figure it out myself."

They both nodded. Inhaling I could smell something delicious in the air. Feeling a smile reach my lips I asked "What did you make?"

"Cornetto, bacon, and coffee" Ed replied. Surprised I asked "Cornetto? Like the ice cream?" Both chuckled at my dumb joke. Ed replied "No, not like that. It's a pastry, kind of like a croissant." Feeling my mouth water I had half a mind to say 'move' as Ed offered his arm for me to take.

With our arms looped I took Matt's hand with my other. The three of us walked to the cafeteria giddily. The spotlight was immediately on us as we came into everyone's line of view. I stared back just at much at everyone else did. I was honestly trying to get a good look at everyone. I had avoided everyone from day one aside from Matt and Ed. Now that things are different I should try to make peace with the others.

That sentiment was squashed when I found a pair of blue eyes looking at me. Once I recognized who they belonged to my blood began to boil seeing that she was in our spot. Matt said while squeeze my hand "Why don't we find a spot mate?" Inhaling a calming breathe before looking at him I replied "Good idea." Ed removed his arm from me to head to the cafeteria.

We found a spot against the wall. Waiting for Ed I people watched. Everyone who laid eye on me didn't do so for long, except for Josh. His eyes were nearly as dark as Ed's hair. I recognized something dangerous in them. In the moment we locked eyes I felt a compromise being made. I keep his secret and he doesn't reveal mine. A hacker is a dangerous enemy, one with the power to become electricity himself even more so. We broke eye contact at the same time. My eyes found Ed's and Josh's found a strong woman around his age if I had to guess.

Ed brought over a tray with cornettoes, a plated with a heavy stack of bacon, a pitcher of coffee with cups, glasses of water, and bowls of fresh fruit. I was so happy in that moment that tears threatened to leak out if I wasn't careful. Matt grabbed a napkin quickly to give me. "You've got something in your eye?" he tried to cover for me. Dapping my eye I replied "Allergies, dust is still an issue here."

As Ed set the tray down I immediately went for the food. Matt helped dispense the fruit bowl and drinks. By the time they both sat down I was already on the sweets while taking sips of water. The three of us shared an actual breakfast for the first time. Hearing a couple of people whimper and sniffle I noticed that I wasn't the only moved by the food.

Nightmare took the opportunity to say You humans are such emotional beings.

Get used to it.

I thought you hated showing weakness?

Tears are not a sign of weakness.

Then why aren't you crying with the others?

I ran out of tears because of last night.

That's not true.

So what if its not?

I thought you were trying to be honest from now on?

You can be honest while keeping secrets.

That doesn't sound right.

It doesn't matter.

Then why are you pretending to be normal?

I'm not pretending and this isn't in the least bit normal. Why are you bothering me anyway?

Humph Nightmare said before going silent again.

I felt the touch before hearing their voice "Everything ok?" Looking to both of them I replied "Yeah, Nightmare and I were having a little tiff." Both of them continued to look at me as I made myself a cup of coffee. After the first sip they both went back to their own meals.

Even though I was still fighting back tears of joy I wished this moment wouldn't end.