Well Butter Me On Both Sides” - What Do I Do Now?

Last Episode, Ben’s ‘Speak Up’ campaign was on fire.  He had finally gotten one over on Penny Promo, and he almost felt sorry for her (almost). Trouble was, just as he was starting to get traction, he was now off on a ‘special assignment’ with Tina to China. 

He had been trying to learn what he could about China, but everything seemed to be top secret. Tina had been very nervous since her return.  He decided to talk with Penny again. He also needed to try to find out why Tina was so concerned about China. 

The question was, did he try to take a crash course in Chinese or play dumb? - (which kind of came naturally to Ben!)  …  read on Thrill Seekers.

******

Ben sent Penny an invitation from his Outlook. He didn’t want to be too specific. He had just completed the Good Communication training. It taught him about the pitfalls of putting things in writing.  His note simply said: ‘Penny, let’s pick up where we left off; meet me on Friday, Ben.’

The note came from Ben’s Private Room, as Outlook does, which unnerved Penny somewhat.  She sent him a note back: “O.K., but don’t be getting any ideas, just because you think I am vulnerable!”

Ben didn’t quite understand, but whatever.   He also dropped by Tina’s office and decided that if he made light of their trip, she might feel more relaxed.

“Hey Tina, all set for next week? Do you want to get seats together on the plane?” he asked with a big smile.

“You have to be kidding,” replied Tina, looking up from her computer. “I’m sorry, Ben, but that would be too much to bear.”

Talk about knocking the stuffing out of you (again); Ben immediately felt deflated.

“O.K. then I will sit by the window. Just trying to be friendly,” said Ben with his tail between his legs.  “I’m thinking of buying one of those ‘learn Chinese in two hours’ tapes. What do you think, Tina? How’s your Chinese?”

Tina smiled, which was a good sign, but then delivered the second blow to Ben’s ego: “Ben, you can hardly speak English; you have no hope of learning Chinese!”

Right between the eyes.  The hurt look on Ben’s face must have said it all.  “Ben, I’m sorry; that was unkind of me.  I am very worried about this trip, and I don’t need you to make jokes about it.”

“Tina, can you tell me why you’re worried about this trip? What happened last time in China? What makes you anxious about going back?”

“The less you know, the better, Ben.  Just promise me you will do what I tell you to do.  We have to try and find out some very sensitive stuff, and it will upset some people; it’s very complicated!”

“Come on, Tina! It can’t be that bad,” said Ben, trying to reassure Tina; it didn’t work.

“I’ll see you at the airport on Sunday. I am taking tomorrow off,” replied Tina, still with a worried look on her face.  “Don’t forget your briefing with Doug before you leave.  It’s today.”

***

Back in Ben’s cubicle……

Ben stood up when Penny entered the room; he was trying to be polite. 

“Sit down, Dumb-arse! Bit late to start being nice now,” was all the thanks he got.

Ben ignored the comment (almost).  “Come on, Penny, we have to work together on this to keep you out of jail!”  he said, trying to make light of it.

“Hey, Penny, last time you were going to tell me if someone told you to stay quiet about what you thought was going on.”

“Yeah, well, how do I know I can trust you?”  I mean, you have always been so horrible to me, calling me names and being rude.  You have even tried to crack onto me!” * ,said Penny.

“Say what?” said Ben, nearly off his chair. “You're the one who's been after me. You think you're sweet like fairy floss, but really, you belong in the dog's dinner category!”

Penny started crying.  “Look, Penny, I am sorry - I didn’t mean that. I don’t know why you bring out the worst in me.  I am just trying to help you.  Let’s start again,” said Ben, trying to make amends. “Just tell me who was telling you to keep quiet about what was going on, and what you thought was wrong?”

“Well, how is this for starters? Mr T’s expense accounts never matched up. There were no receipts at all. Martha Matician from Ernest & Old warned me that if I mentioned this to anyone, I’d be in serious trouble." 

"I was the one who had entered them into the expense system.  You remember the whole internal audit stuff and the Roti Boti restaurant deal?”

“I knew it”, said Ben, feeling proud.

“We can’t say anything though,” said Penny. “We will both get into trouble.”

“We have to, Penny. We have to ‘Speak Up’; I have to, now that I know this has happened.”

“Well, just leave me out of it, Ben.  Can’t you just say you got an anonymous note or something?   Anyway, from what I overheard Marta say, this is nothing compared to what’s been happening in China!” added Penny.

Well, butter me both sides, thought Ben. The pieces were starting to fit together.

“Thanks, Penny,” said Ben. “Leave it with me, and thanks for speaking up.”

“Just remember, Ben—leave me out of it. I need my job.  I actually feel better having talked to you.  I thought you would never hear me say that!” said Penny. 

“Oh, and be careful in China!”

Ben left for his meeting with Doug.  He needed answers, and he needed them now.

“Couldn’t leave it alone, could you?” came Calvernicus's haunting voice. 

"I am doing the right thing", thought Ben. But was this why Tina was so troubled? What had she found out in China?

[A/n: Slang term for when someone is interested in a relationship with someone; **Fairy Floss slang for when someone thinks they are pretty hot;    ***Slang to describe someone who is not considered attractive.]

Next Episode:  Confucius say, ‘Chocolate on Pillow May Be Laxative’

Till next time,

Calvin