Wasabi has a way of sneaking up on you!

In the last episode, Ben had finally cracked the Code to get into Tina’s laptop; he was on a high (at least until he got in and read Tina’s note). Tina’s note left him shattered.  Is this the end (again) for our fearless Compliance Officer?

Meanwhile, Mr Fuckno was planning his retirement on his ill-gotten gains and Doug had been set-up to take the fall for Laxo Smut Klump.  Did someone say Ernie was back, and where was Calvernicus?  

Ben slumped back in his chair; he was shattered.  ‘You can all go to hell!’ He muttered to himself in anger.  He had just been abused by Doug for no reason whatsoever.  What happened to ‘Ben I’ve been worried about you!  Where have you been? How do we get you home?’

He was still reeling from Tina's note. “After all the anxiety, the trauma from the three assassins, and the Egg Foo Yong truck, she married Ernie?”  His best mate, or so he thought.”  He collected his thoughts.  “I still need to find Tina, and I am not going to let those low-life little Moon cakes get away with this.” 

He felt the determination rising—or was it that he hadn’t eaten for a few days? No, it was determination, he told himself. 

“Now, how do we get out of here?” he asked himself. “You’ve got clothes; that’s a good start. No money – that could be a problem, and there is a guard at the door – even bigger problem!”

A rustle came from outside the door.  Ben jumped up and did his Olympic pole vault back into his bed.

[Back at the Ranch:] 

The phone rings again in Doug’s office.  He looks at the number.  It is Chinese.  “Holy hell, this is more than a ‘Koala can bear!”  “I’m not answering it, he thought to himself.  ‘I’m done with you Mr Fuckno, Glaxo Smut Klump and everyone else.  I just want to be out of here,” he said as he started to pack a few things off his desk. “Crime doesn’t pay”, he smirked to himself as he put the photo of his wife in a box.

“What do I tell Adurie?” he thought. He put his dog's photo in there as well.  “Kujo, Kujo”, he smiled as he carefully placed the poodle photo on top of his wife's. He took the photo from the last compliance conference. He smiled at Tina and said, “I’m sorry, girl, but you got in the way.” Then, he smashed it on the floor.  He realised he had played the game and lost; someone has to lose."  “Or do they?” he said to no one.

He frantically searched for a telephone number in his top drawer, then the second drawer.  Nothing.  He thumped the desk and went around to the front.

[Back in China]

The door opened and let in a momentary stream of light.  Darkness! Then all the light came in.  It was like he was being interrogated.  ‘Could only be the three assassins,’ he thought.  Something was different, though; there was no noise.  No Chinese jabber he could not understand.  Was someone still there? He dared not open his eyes.  Then he felt a poke in his ribs “Misser Snake?”

“Misser Snake, Misser Snake,” accompanied by another couple of pokes.  "Good job I’m ‘asleep", thought Ben, "otherwise, I would turn around and knock your block off!*"

He felt two arms grab his shoulders and shake him “Misser Snake, wake up; it is Dang.  Wake up, need to talk to you.”

Ben opened his eyes one at a time and was greeted by Dang's face; well, it could have been Ding or Dong, for all he knew.  “Are you Dang?’  he asked in a weak voice.

“Yes, me Dang, Misser Snake; velly bad - I need you to talk to me.”

Fuckno was frustrated because he could not get in touch with Doug.  He calls the Dong the ringleader of the three assassins.

“Ding, time to close the chapter.”  He said.  “Get rid of all of them, but Ding, you make it look like an accident and don’t screw up like you did last time – fool!  You get your money when it is done.”

“Velly good boss; you going to meet us? "

“Les, les.”

 "I meet you at the yussual place hah?”  replied Ding with a smile on his face. “This is going to be good.”

‘Just bring them and hurry,” snapped Fuckno  as he slammed down the phone.

“Dong, time to go, call that idiot brovver of yours.  Tell him we meet at the hotel.  Time to put Mr Snake into a basket for good.”   He could hardly contain his excitement as he called his brother. 

“Hah”, was the only reply he got from his brother, who also had a grin from one ear to the other.

“Get the rope and some sandbags, lots, and put them in the van,” added Ding as an afterthought.

Fuckno packed his bag full of money from the safe, all in neat packs of US$10,000.  Better than all those Chinese Yuan, he smiled to himself. I would need a truck to take all of that.

He picked up the bag and tested it for weight.  "Heavy, velly heavy but good.  Daddy have good time!"

He pulled a Beretta out of the top drawer, loaded the magazine, put it on top of the money and zipped up the bag.  As a final gesture, he took out a thick black pen, drew a big smiley emoji on the desk, laughed out loud, and left. 

"Come on Los Angeles," he thought as he shut the door.

[Back at the Ranch:]

“I need to speak to Inspector Shi Lan Took,” said Doug.

“He not here,” replied a very polite Chinese voice at the other end. “Can you leave a message?”

Excellent, thought Doug.  “Yes, please, if you can give me his voicemail, that would be great.”

“Please leave a message at the tone,” a well-spoken voice said.  “Bee—eee—p.”

“Took,” announced Doug “My name is not important.  What is important is you need to reopen a case from two years ago.  New evidence is in Mr Fuckno’s office at Laxo Smut Klump.  I can’t help you anymore, but you will need to be quick. I suspect Fuckno will not be around for long.”  Doug hung up the phone.

“One out of two,”muttered Doug to himself as he dialed another number.  “James Halliday, SEC, please.”

For 40 minutes, Doug explained his concerns to James about the two years he had spent at Laxo. James listened closely. He was eager for a promotion and felt this might be his big chance. “I will be in touch,” James finally concluded and “Thank you, Doug; this must have been difficult.  Do you want your job back?  I can ….”

Doug interrupted him, “I just wasn’t to be left alone, and no, I do not want my job back. Thank you for listening, James,” and he hung up.

Doug left his office with his box of personal possessions in his arms.  He took one look around the room and closed the door. He saw people he knew but didn’t want to talk. He felt guilty about what he had done. Still, he felt a quiet peace that this saga was finally over.  He had tried to cheat the system and lost.  He stopped at Penny Promo’s desk; she had been promoted and was now Doug’s Admin.   His words were simple: “Penny, can you please clean up my office.  I won’t be back.”

He picked up his box and started to walk away.  “Doug?” she protested. “What do you mean you won’t be back? What about China? What about Ben?”

He stopped as if to reply, but then just kept walking and vanished around the corner.

Penny was confused, scared.  Was she next?

How could she stay on without a boss?

Surely, they would replace him…and why did he leave?

She headed off to his office.

[ A/n: *Australian slang for punching someone in the head, really hard.]

Episode 36: “Confucius say Man with Rope and Sandbags not coming for dinner!”

Till next time,

Calvin