Va-Va-Vramm, Chapter One

Under the stars on Wednesday morning, while Calvin was still asleep, his family packed up their belongings and drove away from the camp without him.

If there was a sinister fairytale touch to this, then Flashsatsumas, not being from Planet Earth, wasn’t in the best position to appreciate it. Nevertheless, it set the tone for what turned out to be a day of folkloric elements. Not long after learning about the incident, one of Flashsatsumas’s first duties was to pay a call on a wizard.

Rain sweeping straight in from the sea hammered against the windows of a small hotel room. The wizard, named Peter, wore large round glasses and was younger even than Flashsatsumas. In fact he looked more of a sorcerer’s apprentice, although again that wasn’t an allusion which would have been familiar to Mini-Flashes.

“Sorry to have to hand you another one,” Flashsatsumas said.

“Oh, it’s no problem,” replied Peter at once. “Poor Calvin.”

“It was you and your friends all over again,” concurred Flashsatsumas grimly. “Seems we underestimated our hosts. Mini-Flash Juniper sent a clear message that Calvin was under her protection, but we might have known creatures like those would be happy just to get to his parents like they did all of yours, and wait. It looks as if they’re still after him, and probably Sheila too. That’s the other reason Juniper and I are in town today, not that it isn’t delightful weather for it.”

Peter assured him a second time that his magic, which was what he called his special ability, had already restored six grown-ups to knowledge of their long-lost loved ones.

“Thanks, Peter. Here’s the number,” declared Flashsatsumas, reaching behind and plucking from his pants a note Calvin had scribbled.

“I should get a mini,” Peter mused. “Not regulation robe-length, but more practical.”

“And this is for the payphone,” added Flashsatsumas, putting the note down on the table together with a handful of change.

“Oh, no need,” protested Peter.

Flashsatsumas wouldn’t hear of that. “Calvin said it’ll take them most of the day to get home,” he continued, “so you can leave it until after six.”

Although behind on his terrestrial myths and legends, Flashsatsumas had picked up on how important that particular custom was around here, and relished any opportunity to display his knowledge. In fact he felt downright proud of himself when Peter said of course, as though he’d already been meaning to do so.

“Well, I’d better be off,” resumed Flashsatsumas, with a quick glance at the rain. “I told Mini-Flash Juniper to stay on the bus all the way to the toyshop, and that I’d meet her there – ”

“Toyshop?” a little voice put in.

Both boys had all but forgotten the presence of Shelia’s brother Robbie, smallest of all, who now stood attentive and hopeful.

Flashsatsumas grinned. “Why don’t I take him off your hands for the day?” he suggested to Peter. “It’s the least I can do, after all the help you’ve been. Not that I can promise him much of an adventure. We’re just going to buy a toy, bring it to life, and then eat all the chocolate cake I’ve got in this satchel.”

Next second Robbie had his coat on and was waiting by the door.

They found Mini-Flash Juniper where she’d said she’d be, among the transforming robots, looking pensive. Her fair hair was striking against the cagoule of crinkly black plastic which wrapped her upper half, and whose elastic waist was flaring her school skirt over long legs and stockings still spotted from being outdoors. As with most toyshops, the place was full of agitated boys who wanted something they’d seen but weren’t allowed to take home.

“I’m glad you’re here, Flashsatsumas, and you, Robbie,” Mini-Flash Juniper said.

She took down from the shelf before her the largest item that stood there. “He’s a goody,” Juniper confirmed first of all. “Obviously, I checked that. But…”

Turning the box over so the back of it was towards her friends, she indicated a short fact-file on the character it contained. Both boys leaned near to read the tiny text:

Lacks confidence, but would fill up own chest-compartment with molten slag if it somehow perpetuated the cause of justice. Immensely powerful, dazzlingly fast. In robot mode, wields high-powered photon rifle. Vehicle mode’s nitro-injected ceramic engine is most advanced in existence. Hampered only by deep-seated personal insecurities.

“I’m just not sure he passes the psychological profile,” Mini-Flash Juniper stated. “Are there any others of the same size and general power-level?”

Robbie, who seemed to be something of an authority on that line, quickly scouted around but reported neither of the items which retailed at the same price-point were in stock.

“They always sell out before Vramm does,” he advised.

“That would leave me low on confidence,” observed Flashsatsumas.

“Vramm?” repeated Juniper, reading the character’s name from the box. “Well, there’s no-one else here who meets our needs, so I guess he’s going to have to do.”

Thus in agreement, she and Flashsatsumas commenced bringing together the necessary funds while other shoppers resigned themselves to pining the rest of the week over their unattainable desired object. Similar thoughts weren’t remote from Flashsatsumas, on Robbie’s behalf, perhaps because they were fellow males whilst a truth that had established itself in recent years was that the second gender didn’t really understand toys. Indeed, as fiercely fond of Mini-Flash Juniper as Flashsatsumas was, he guessed it hadn’t even occurred to her that what they were doing right now under Robbie’s very nose might seem to him flaunting or even mean.

“Would you like something too, Robbie?” Flashsatsumas therefore offered. “It’ll have to be a goody, but otherwise I’m sure we can afford it, right?”

That admittedly had always been a grey area, and one on which not even Mini-Flash Juniper was able to shed much light. Here in the realm, the supply of Earth-money down hers and Flashsatsumas’s underwear seemed limitless, yet there were also occasions such as this when they were required to pool it. Such mysteries notwithstanding however, Juniper reiterated at once that Robbie was welcome to any toy he liked, only for him to thank them both politely but explain he wasn’t supposed to accept gifts from people he’d only just met.

“Well, you can share in our Vramm, at any rate,” Flashsatsumas told him, little guessing how correct he was, or what would be the extent of Robbie’s involvement with that purchase.

END OF CHAPTER ONE