The Robotic Quadruped

“Chas, I need to do a flyover to spot places to put remote security stations on the property.”

“Cool beans. We can take the V/STOL. Make sure it is fueled and ready to go.”

They had plotted the coordinates of four possible sites when Link said, “Chas, we have a problem.”

Chas looked at the display. One of the six fan symbols had turned red.

“I thought you said this thing could fly with five.”

“It can.”

A second warning appeared.

GENERATOR OFFLINE

“And that?”

“That complicates matters.”

“How much battery do we have?”

“Enough.”

“Enough for what?”

The aircraft banked suddenly.

“There is a meadow approximately two miles ahead.”

“Link, that wasn’t what I asked.”

“I know.”

The meadow appeared beyond the trees.

Chas tightened his harness. “You’re going to land this thing, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever made an emergency landing?”

“No.”

Chas stared at the instrument panel.

“That’s comforting.”

“I have, however, just read every available flight manual on the subject.”

“That’s not the same thing!”

“We are about to determine how significant the difference is.”

The V/STOL dropped toward the meadow. The five remaining fans screamed as Link fought to keep the aircraft level.

“Brace yourself, Chas.”

They hit hard. The landing gear collapsed on one side, and the aircraft lurched to a stop in the tall grass.

For several seconds, Chas just sat there.

“Was that within design specifications?”

“No.”

“Well, that wasn’t so bad. They say any landing you can walk away from is a good landing.”

“That is not an engineering standard, Chas.”

He climbed out and looked across the meadow.

“The landing gear is damaged.”

“I noticed. Link, call somebody to come get us.”

“There is no road within four miles.”

Chas looked toward the distant mountains. “How far are we from the house?”

“Six point three miles.”

“You expect me to walk six miles?”

“No.”

Chas waited.

“Well?”

“Transportation is on its way.”

“What transportation? There’s no road.”

“It doesn’t require one.”

Thirty minutes later, Chas was sitting in the grass beside the crippled V/STOL.

“Link, where the hell is this transportation?”

“Approximately twelve minutes away.”

“It better have air conditioning.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Wonderful.”

Twelve minutes later, something came trotting out of the trees.

Chas stared.

It had four mechanical legs, a broad metal body, and almost no head.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

The mechanical quadruped stepped into the meadow and stopped beside him.

“Link.”

“Yes, Chas?”

“Why do I own a robotic horse?”

“You own a large ranch.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“I anticipated transportation requirements in areas inaccessible by road.”

The machine lowered itself so he could climb aboard.

Chas walked around it.

“It doesn’t have a head.”

“A head would serve no useful purpose.”

Chas grinned. “The Headless Horseman.”

“It is not a horse.”

“It is now.”

“And you are calling it the Headless Horseman?”

“No. Just Headless for short.”

There was a pause.

“I should have made you walk.”

“Does this thing know how to carry a person?”

“I have just read every available manual on the subject.”

Chas stared at it.

“Oh, hell.”

He climbed aboard, and Headless started across the meadow.

“When we get home, we’re buying a damn helicopter.”

“Helicopters have significantly more mechanical components capable of failure.”

“Link?”

“Yes, Chas?”

“For the next six miles, don’t talk.”

For the first mile, Headless walked smoothly through the meadow and into the trees.

Chas began to relax.

“This isn’t so bad.”

Headless stepped onto a loose rock.

One mechanical leg shot sideways.

The machine lurched violently, throwing Chas to one side. He grabbed whatever he could find and held on.

“LINK!”

Before Headless could fall, its other three legs moved almost simultaneously. One planted forward, another shifted sideways, and the third dropped into a crouch.

For an instant, the machine seemed frozen in an impossible position.

Then it stood upright again.

Chas remained wrapped around it.

“Are we done?”

“Yes.”

“What the hell happened?”

“Headless encountered unstable footing.”

“I figured that part out.”

“The stabilization system corrected for it.”

“I figured that out too.”

“Then why did you ask?”

Chas slowly sat upright.

“Because humans do that, Link.”

“I see.”

“No, you don’t.”

Headless started walking again.

After a few yards, Link said, “You were never in significant danger.”

“Link?”

“Yes, Chas?”

“Remember what I said about not talking for six miles?”

“Yes.”

“Start remembering harder.”