The Phoenix Rises from the Dead

In the last episode, Ben joined Laxo and was introduced to his new boss, Glenny, and new mentor, Mr T.

Things had marginally improved. Ernie was still nowhere to be seen, and he wanted to chase up Tina and find out what was going on. He had tried to call her several times.

******

By the time Ben had finished, his head was spinning, and he felt sick. He had spent two and a half hours being ear-bashed by Mr T about how wonderful Laxo was and how great a company they were. He kept telling him to be proud of working there. With his discretionary expense account, he had to ensure profits kept coming in.

What was this discretionary account? Mr T only said, “Use it well and don’t send an expense report; it just clogs up accounting.”

He had to speak to Tina. He searched for the staff directory on his brand-new laptop. Twoshoes, Tina - nowhere to be found!

Ben checked the version number, feeling proud that some of that quality stuff had rubbed off on him. Nope, the version was updated only last week. Tina had been back for at least two weeks.

He was ready to go to a meeting with Mr T when his phone rang. It played his signature tone: ACDC’s "It’s a Long Way Till We Stop (if you want a sausage roll)." He would normally ignore it, but it was Ernie.

“Ernie, where the hell have you been?”

“Can’t talk, meet me tonight for a drink, not at the usual watering hole but a pub called the Do Drop Inn - 7:30 pm - I’ll be in the corner.

“What the hell is going on, Ernie?” The phone was dead.

What else could go wrong, thought Ben. He had found Ernie but lost Tina. He wandered off to speak to Mr T, but he had this horrible feeling that it was going to go wrong.

****** That Evening ******

Ben walked into the pub. It looked seedy, and everyone seemed suspicious. He looked around for Ernie. Nowhere to be seen. It was already fifteen minutes after they had agreed to get together, and he was worried.

He’d had the week from hell. Ernie thought he was back, but Tina was still A.W.O.L. He had already dealt with Glen E. Bakersun, or "Glenny," for a whole week. Also, there was the very annoying Mr T, as he liked to be called. He did not get a good vibe from either of them; both made him very nervous.

He was scheduled to have a dinner meeting with them next week and one other person, who they said was a surprise! He could hardly wait. He was just about to take a well-earned swig from his beer when, whack! He nearly choked and knocked his teeth out at the same time!

“Don’t turn around.”

“Bloody hell, Ernie, what is it with you?”

Ernie sat down on the opposite side of the table. Hair like a '70s rock star, dark glasses, and a quirky overcoat that felt odd for an Australian summer. “You look particularly 'cactus', my old mate,” said Ben, trying to disguise his total surprise.

“Do tell?” invited Ben, "Why are you looking like that?”

“I’m undercover," said Ernie, "I'm in partial witness protection. Everywhere I go, I have a watcher to make sure nothing happens to me."

“A ‘watcher,’” says Ben, “and who, pray, is your ‘watcher’ and what does he watch?” asked Ben very naively.

"Ever since I blew the whistle on Fartbender, they’ve kept me locked away until the trial starts." Everywhere I go, Joe Demusculari (that’s him over near the door) watches me."

Ben turns around and spots the ugliest person he has ever seen. “No one would ever mess with him; he’s got a face like the north end of a southbound cow!”

“What’s all this about, Ernie? I miss you.”

“I turned on Fartbender, Ben. They are doing some terrible things. Faking clinical trial results, paying doctors to lie, and hosting fake meetings at casinos is a total disaster. I even think they have paid some people high up to get their files approved; those files you saw Mary Uselessmeeni shredding."

"Not good, my old mate, and now you're involved!"

"What?" says Ben, his day suddenly taking a big turn for the worse. “I have not told anyone about those, except for the people in the company: Larry Pomapdoo and Tomas Stickler."

“I can’t say anything, Ben, but don’t trust anyone - not even legal! Especially tell Tina and Jemima Watchyousay to be very careful. We were seen together just before my 'disappearance.'"

Ben had forgotten all about Jemima. His mind wandered as he remembered the dinner they had had and how smart she was. She knew all about this compliance thing. He made a mental note to call her. Ernie obviously wasn’t going to get anywhere with her, and Tina was out of the picture.

He was snapped back to reality. “Got to go, Ernie; Joe’s giving me the signal, and we don’t want him to come and join us. He has the personality of a cricket bat and breath that will kill you!” said Ernie. “I promise I will call you when this is all over. Take care, buddy!”

With that, Ernie got up in his strange-looking gear and walked to the door. As he passed Joe, he got up. A solid little budgie, you wouldn’t want to tangle with him. He looked like a kangaroo loose in the top paddock, but tougher.

Ernie went back to his beer, more depressed now than ever before. The only good thing in his mind was that he had found someone who might shed light on what had happened to Tina. He would call Jemima tomorrow. Tomorrow was Saturday; he was tired, but he did not have to face all those people at Laxo for two days. Life was not all bad; or was it.......?

Stay tuned for Episode 8: “If I only had one wish......”

[A/n: Aussie slang - cactus = bad; blue = a fight; Kangaroo loose in the top paddock = crazy]

Till next time,

Calvin