The discretionary account – frequent flyer points for everyone!!

In the last episode, Ben ignores Calvernicus, the Godfather of Compliance. He heads out for a night on the town with Mr. T and Glenny. Little did he know he would get stuck with the bill for some very expensive wine.

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Ben's issues with Paula Promo keep piling up. He keeps putting his foot in his mouth and struggles to manage his discretionary account. What can he do?

Ben was ‘as mad as a cut snake'** with Paula. She had continued to haunt him after the whole wobbly bits misunderstanding. For the last week, she had been playing tricks on his mind.

He waited with bated breath, expecting to be called up to HR any day to explain, but it hadn’t happened. If she was ‘fair dinkum'** about making a complaint, why didn’t she get on and get it over with?

Ben switched on his computer. An email from Paula popped up – “Urgent – please open immediately.”

Ben panicked – this is it, he thought. He opened the email, not really wanting to read it:

“Gotcha! – next time it might be for real. You will pay for your actions!”

Damn you, he thought. He stood up and looked over his cubicle. There was Paula with a big smile on her face. “You will be sorry, Ben. You don’t know who you are messing with,” she said.

“Oh, I know who I am messing with,” jabbed back Ben. "Dead set, you are such a dipstick!** You don’t scare me. What I said to you was completely misunderstood.”

“What’s going on, Benny boy?” asked Mr. T as he walked up to Ben. “Nothing,” said Ben, "nothing at all.”

“Can I see you for a moment, Ben, in my office?”

“Sure,” replied Ben as he followed Mr. T into his office. He felt like a little puppy dog trotting after his owner. What now, he thought.

“Ben, I need to explain to you about the ‘discretionary account’. You see, we use this account to get in with doctors; it is just like a frequent flyer program. Don't be so specific in how you report things. No one wants to know all the details."

Just make sure that the doctors are happy when they leave. What is a good dinner here and there, a bottle of fine wine... We like to reward the doctors who look after the company. Understand, Ben?

"I will lend you a little cheat sheet that helps you code the expenses a little bit better – OK? I fixed up your expenses for the other night. If anyone asks you, we were out with five doctors, very expensive taste," said Mr T with a big smile on his face.

“I guess so,” replied Ben. “I thought that we needed to be very specific about what we spent."

interactions with healthcare professionals and all that compliance stuff?

“Ben, you want to see the company do well, don’t you? You want to make money, don’t you? Meet your sales targets, get that fat bonus, hey?”

That night, Ben hosted four doctors for a casual dinner. They had just attended a symposium at the company's invitation.

“So I think we deserve a nice bottle of wine, Ben; after all, we really helped sell the message for your new drug today, didn’t we?” said one of the doctors.

“I guess so,” said Ben, “but I have to make sure I don’t exceed the limit; we have to be compliant," he added.

They all started laughing. "That would be a first; you are new to this, aren’t you, son?” asked one of the other doctors.

“You’ll learn,” added another, “just remember, we sell your products—not you. If you look after us, we look after you.”

Ben was worried; this seemed very wrong. He tried to quickly add things up - three entrees at $35 each; three at $30, including his. Five mains cost $60 each. Then, they ordered a $180 bottle of wine, plus cocktails to start. They must have been $25 each, so that came to $775. His limit was $125 per doctor.

Even if he included himself, he was over the limit, and there was still dessert. Oh no, what did he do now? Is this where he used his discretionary account?

What about the guy who didn’t have the entrée? Did he count him as a 'had' or was that between three… no, four, or was it five? His head hurt. He felt sick. He didn’t like this one little bit. Where was that pain in the backside, Calvenicus, now to give some guidance?

When it came time to go, Ben paid the bill - $1,055 plus the tip. They had to have another bottle of wine, didn’t they!

Even Ben could work out that this was not right. He either used his discretionary account, which Mr. T said was easy—just add doctors to balance it—or he paid the extra himself.

He would work it out tomorrow; he just wants to go home now.

Sitting on the train, Ben’s head hurt. "Ben, Ben, Ben, what have you done?" came that old familiar voice.

“Oh sure, now you turn up,” said Ben to himself. "Where were you when I really needed you? What did you have, a long lunch break or something?”

“Ben, Ben, Ben, what have you done?” came the voice again.

“Shut up,” said Ben. “I will use my discretionary account, and it will all be alright. That is what Mr T said it was for. As long as the doctors are happy!”

[A/n: **"As mad as a cut snake": Australian slang for very angry; "Fair dinkum": Australian slang for serious, real. "Dead set you are such a dipstick": Australian slang for ‘really you are such an idiot'.]

Next Episode – Episode 11: Put the Toilet Seat down!

Till next time,

Calvin