I lied. Chapter One Revised.

(To note: Since this is not a complete book and just a work in progress in it’s very early stages, I imagine these chapters will ebb and flow and change and be out of order at this phase. Maybe I will stop calling them chapters. But I don’t know what else to call them. Any ideas? I’ve never done this before. A kids book, yes, but this is a new game and I’m just warming up.)

My Big Guy is the best. He is so tall and nice and he takes good care of my mom in the ways I cannot because I am a dog. But also he has very slippery fingers. Sometimes I think he should see a human doctor because all the time, his fingers don’t work and he drops chimken and other meat and sometimes cheese and he always says, “Oops! It’s so slippery.” Mom doesn’t have slippery fingers so I think it’s a condition. But, since it is food that is on the ground, I am allowed to have it. So I like that he drops things all the time, even if I worry about that his hands don’t work.

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I am a smart dog. I have a good strong nose. Sometimes Big Guy drops things like onions and garlic and I know not to eat those things. I do not like the green stuff that is like a leaf from an outside bush. I like the orange carrots and I like the cucumbers. I like the peanut butter which never drops on the ground but sometimes they give me a spoon with peanut butter and it is a special treat and I know it is because I am a Good Boy. My mom gives me lots of special treats which I may have told you about.

Also something you should know about me is because I don’t like belly rubs or butt scratches, and I also don’t like to be held or hugged. And I also don’t like to share my food, and also I don’t like other things that other dogs like, and because sometimes I show how big and strong my teeth are when the humans get too close to my food, I get to have my own special area to eat. I think this is nice because I don’t have to worry about anyone taking my food. I don’t know why I worry because no one has taken my food but you just never know. So I protect it a lot and maybe too much, but my humans- they understand, and I have three humans. Mom, Big Guy, and Little Guy. I will tell you about all of them because they are all my favorite. But oh yeah- I forgot I was telling you about Big Guy and his slippery hands and how mom and I take him Coffee in the morning and this is how we wake him up.

She says, “OK let’s go wake up Big Guy” and then we walk together to the bedroom. I don’t get to spend much time in there because I make too many licking sounds and also because even though I think I am doing them a favor by leaving pieces of my fur in there they say it’s too much. So I only go in the morning which makes it extra special and I get to look forward to it every night when I go to bed.

Mom and I go to where he is sleeping and she says, “Good Morning, Handsome Man.” And then she gives him a kiss. And then his Coffee and then it is my turn. I walk to the edge of the bed and he leans down to give me a head scratch and my tail wags so much because like I said it is my second favorite part of the morning and he says, “Good Morning, Bubs” or “Good Morning, Rafiki” and I am so happy. When I was a Puppy, I would stand on my back legs to get closer to him, but it is too hard now. I still sometimes try my best and sometimes I can but not all the days.

After this, he says, OUT! But he is not serious just funny, And mom and I both leave and this is the way it goes every morning and I like knowing the way things work. Then, usually, mom goes to her special coffee chair and I go to my special pillow next to her, so she can still reach me in case of emergency, and so I can make sure she is protected, and we do this until it is time for outside clothes and shoes.

I know this might not sound like an exciting morning to you but it is the best to me. I know other dogs get to go on walks in the morning because I can see them from my window, and when I was a Puppy I liked to go on them but now I like watching them. I can watch, and remember all the walks and the memories make me happy. Sometimes when I sleep I remember them too. When I sleep, I can still run as fast as the wind and I can chase the frisbee for a hundred miles and I can swim across the entire lake so that is why I like sleeping a lot, in case you were wondering. When I sleep I can do all the things I could do when I was young, before I got Old.