Headhunters

The morning air felt cool against my warm skin as I swung the axe again. Then watched the two halves of the cut log fall away into two more pieces. I'd already cut more wood for today than necessary. But I still had yet to work out my frustrations.

For a long time, I'd been quiet about my thoughts and feelings concerning Ellie's condition and the things she was expected to do despite them. But I'd noticed the faith healer had been coming around more frequently lately. When I brought up my concern about Ellie, Pa told me not to pay any mind because, as long as the healer was coming around, it meant that Ellie was still alive.

I knew better than that though. It meant that she was getting worse. I'm not the same naive little boy I was five years ago.

Though there's still nothing I can do about it except make sure all of the difficult chores are done before Pa has the chance to notice. The only hope that I'm hanging onto is that Ellie can hold on for one more year until I'm old enough to collect bounties, so she doesn't have to anymore.

"Elric!" I paused mid swing when I heard Ellie's voice from behind me. Carefully I set the axe down before turning around to face her. She looked so pale in the morning sunlight that I couldn't help but feel like I was already looking at her ghost.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked without hiding any of my concern. I hated the way she smiled at me like she didn't have a care in the world.

"Are you finished chopping wood yet?" She asked me with a hopeful glint in her eye. Moments like these made me feel like the roles were reversed and she was actually my younger sister about to beg her older brother to spend time with her. I hated that too. Not because I didn't want to spend time with her. But because she should be the stronger one occupied with chores.

"For now, I guess," I answered and wiped some sweat from my brow with my shirt sleeve.

"Good. Do you want to go horseback riding?" She sounded so excited that it made my heart ache for how I was about to answer.

"But you have an appointment."

"That's not until the afternoon." I frowned at her despite my feeling of guilt.

"I can't right now, Ellie. Pa has a lot of stuff for me to do today," I lied before turning back around to pick up the axe. "Why don't you ask Lukas to go with you?"

There was a pause and, even though I couldn't see it, I knew the hopeful spark died in her eyes. "Okay. Maybe some other time." I could hear the underlying disappointment in her voice and just couldn't take it. So I started walking away without a backwards glance.

The guilt was eating me alive but I knew why she was trying to spend all of her free time with me. She was trying to make memories. But I didn't want those memories. They would only make it harder when I had to help Pa carry her casket.