Diary Entry #5

Devlyn was the love of my life, or so I believed. From the moment we met, everything seemed perfect. Everywhere I looked I saw green flags. He was everything I thought I wanted and for the first time in a long time I believed I had finally found my happy ending. Until one day those green flags didn't seem so green anymore. The mask he wore in the beginning became too heavy for him to continue holding up, and before I knew it, the man I thought I knew and fell in love with slowly disappeared. One by one those green flags faded until they became a blazing shade of red. Before I tell you how my fairy tale turned into a nightmare, I have to take you back to the beginning- to the day I met the man I believed God had finally sent into my life.

I had seen Devlyn twice before I actually spoke to him. He came into my workplace wearing one of those bright orange reflective works vests, and some black jeans, along with a pair of black steel toed work boots. What stood out to me first about Devlyn was his salt pepper hair, and his salt pepper beard to match. Although his hair was already salt pepper colored, he had a surprisingly youthful face. He was a very handsome man, and his glasses complimented his features even more. I worked at a hardware store at the time, and I wasn't working there that long when I first saw Devlyn. Maybe 2 months. A few weeks later I saw him at my job again for the second time. I knew it was him because that salt pepper hair and beard to match always stood out to me first about him. Thinking back now, it's what attracted me first about him. At the time, he was just that... Attractive. You know like when you see a guy or girl and you notice something unique about them that stands out and you can't help but to notice it. That's how I felt when I first noticed Devlyn. But that was it. I noticed/ took note of him, admired the color of his hair and beard in my head and left it at that. I never planned for it to go any further. I was content with my boring life and happily single. Not interested in any man. He had on that vest again too. This time, he seemed upset about something. He was mumbling something to himself and giving everyone mean looks on his way out. I was working in the front that day at customer service, but like I said, I haven't been working there that long so I was still learning the ropes and how things were routinely done... I was so hoping he wouldn't come over to customer service where I was working and start giving me a hard time. Lucky for me, he didn't. Boy, was I relieved. I didn't want to have to deal with an angry customer. It had already been a long day, and I just wanted to end my shift peacefully.

Fast forward to the 3rd time I saw Devlyn. This time I actually came face to face with him and talked to him. I had no idea that the man walking towards the customer service desk at my job would eventually change the entire course of my life. It wasn't many people in the store that day. Worker or customers. But out of the few other employees there that night, I just had to be the one working the customer service desk. I was working until close that day, so it was dark outside. I heard the sliding doors open and felt the cold outside air rush in, and in walked Devlyn. He came walking right up to the front desk this time. I was thinking to myself "oh no, not him." Surprisingly he seemed to be in a good mood. Smiling a flirtatious smile he greeted me saying "hi, how are you?" I greeted him back, "I'm fine, how can I help you?" He then began to ask me about some tools that were supposed to be ordered on his behalf by the store and that he was told was ready for pick up weeks ago, and how he keeps coming here to pick up his order and its never here or ready when he gets here. He explained that he works and how he keeps taking time off of work to come pick up an order that isn't even here. He also said he was tired of getting the run around. That explained his attitude and mean face the last time I saw him here. Anyways, I explained to him that the department that handles orders and store pick-ups was closed and he should come back in the morning at 9am if he could and I also suggested he call at that time and set something up for another date just in case he couldn't afford to take more time off of work again. While I'm explaining all of this to him, he begins to smile again. This time it was like a kid in a candy store type of smile, and he was showing all 32 teeth. I noticed something else about Devlyn. I guess you can call it my 2nd impression of him. He had really neat and clean teeth. I haven't met to many men with nice teeth like his. After I gave him all the information I could, he thanked me and then began asking me a few questions about myself. My name, my age... if I was dating anyone. By then I noticed Mr. T, the nighttime security guard walking in our direction. The store had security for nights we stayed open late, and I was thankful for that. I wasn't afraid of Devlyn in that moment but still, I didn't know him. The last time I saw him before this night he looked pretty angry. Mr. T, asked "what's up?" Devlyn replied while still eyeing me and still showing all 32 of his clean teeth. Still rocking that kid in a candy store smile... "I'm trying to see what's up with her." I smiled and blushed a little. I didn't even know how to respond to that. So, I didn't. I kept my cool and just re-directed the conversation back to his concerns about his order. Mr. T, made light conversation with the both of us before confirming I was alright in the presence of Devlyn, and walking off to finish his rounds before closing time. I let him know I'd be fine, and Mr. T, went about his night.

That's when Devlyn asked me for my number. I paused, contemplating if I should give him my number or not. I almost decided to give him the wrong number but against my better judgment, gave him my real number. I figured I could easily block him if need be. We began only texting at first. He'd send me the sweetest good morning text followed by him telling me his hopes of me having a great day. I'd wake up to a flood of good morning texts from Devlyn every day and that really made me feel special. He was the first man to constantly send me good morning texts and even check on me throughout the day. We eventually began talking on the phone every night. We'd talk about our day, ask little questions about each others like and dislikes, make jokes, and just got to know each other. We'd be on the phone all hours of the night. One time we even fell asleep on the phone together. This man was starting to give me butterflies. You know those butterflies you get when you start dating someone new and you get super excited about anything that has to do with their existence? Or when you see their name pop up on your phone screen? Or when you know you have plans to see this person and you're just so excited to see and hear from them. It had been a while before I met Devlyn that I had gotten any male attention, but that was my choice. I almost had decided not to get to know Devlyn and even tried to find reasons to not let myself get close to him, but I couldn't come up with anything so I decided to just let everything keep flowing. My job was having their annual Christmas, party soon and we were allowed to bring 1 guest so of course I wanted to invite Devlyn. When I wasn't busy being a mother, I was spending all my time with him. I liked him more than I thought I would.

At the Christmas party, along with my other co-workers and their guest, Devlyn and I danced the night away. We ate good food and really enjoyed ourselves. He didn't take his eyes off me the whole night. His smile never left either. Taking a break from the dance floor we walked over to the bar to get drinks and talk. We both were saying how much we were enjoying the party and how good it felt being there together. At some point during our conversation, I pulled out my phone to record a snap chat video of the two of us. I love me some snap chat. I recorded us just smiling into the camera and being cute. I loved Devlyns' smile so much. It was always so bright and giddy. In that video we leaned close to each other and smiled into the camera. He complimented me on my hair and with his arm around me I breathed in his scent. I felt so safe and secure in his arms. After I finished recording that moment between us at the bar, I put my phone back into my purse. I looked up and Devlyn was smiling and eyeing me again. It was like everything was moving in slow motion and in that moment, we shared our first kiss. That was also the moment I felt myself fall even harder for Devlyn. I noticed there were some people looking right at us. Mostly my male co-workers who flirted with me often at my job... they probably were wondering when I had time to meet Devlyn and start to like him since I was always turning them down. That thought tickled me. Devlyn looked so happy. It was like that night with me was the most fun he had in years. With the night coming to an end, we got up to start heading out. I noticed the way Devlyn always kept me closer than normal to him when we were out in public, at gatherings, or stores... places where there were more people than usual. It was like he was my security guard when were out. He'd always hold my hand and keep me close. I'd smile to myself every time he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me a little closer in public. I'd say to myself with a smile on my face, "he's so protective of me." It made me feel chosen. Safe. Loved. I thought I had found someone who wanted to protect me. I didn't realize there was a very thin line between protection... and possession. Stay tuned

xoxo -Purple Diamond