A room with no view

I have been in this room with no views for four years now.

But the view from my ability to see the Lord and his name is Jesus. We first met when I was struggling with my anxiety and depression, which I pursued in trying the drugs that I remember the teenagers of my time used. Trips, and cocaine. Only I was to encounter an experience like no other.

The first time I traveled in my mind to China, Japan; where I met a teenage boy on his game console, he looked at me and asked would I like to watch and him explain the dynamics of the game. He was a funny young boy and we laughed through this game. Only I then told him I needed to leave as it had been so long me being there and I traveled to my Grandson in the living room where he was wide eyed with joy at seeing me.

The Christmas tree was so beautiful and all the colours were swirling like ethereal lights in a beautiful blue sky, we both were excited for opening the presents under the tree.

I explained I had to leave to go home and he must wait until the morning to open his presents with his mum and dad. I was absolutely bursting for a wee.

That is where the fairytale turns into a nightmare. I became trapped in my own mind and couldn’t get out of this game I believed I was in.

I could feel the fear and my blood pressure rising to a dangerous level; so much so I couldn’t breathe.

The next thing I remember is ringing the emergency services for an ambulance.

I had died for a few seconds while the defibrillator was being used in the ambulance. I obviously lost all consciousness. The hospital used the defibrillator at the hospital and I was in intensive care.

I woke up and wires everywhere, I drifted back away again.

After a few weeks I was placed on the heart and chest ward to recover.

The Doctor came and I asked why was I in hospital, he explained that the cocaine gave me a massive heart attack and I was brought back into the living realm by them.

I remembered the Acid Trip I took and I explained that it was that; him being the specialist in this field knew nothing of the Acid Trip that I told them on the emergency call and the ambulance crew what I had taken, no mention of it on my medical record only smoking crack cocaine.

I knew it was the Acid Trip but he was a pompous arrogant man, that basically didn’t have the time to talk or the time of day, being drug related.

I pulled my leggings on, pulled my jumper over my braids; didn’t have braids when I went in, but that was a kind gesture of the Intensive Care Nurse to braid my long, wild, Irish looking hair.

Then I just ran away from the hospital, phoned a taxi and came home. The first thing I did was to phone my friend who had the Trips and let him know what happened and how dangerous they were. He went on to explain they were not the usual ones that they had been sprayed with chemical’s which one he wasn’t sure. He would find out. I told him you killed me you blithering idiot giving me that and he smugly said “Adult now aren’t you, I didn’t force it down your throat “

With this cold callous exchange of words I knew I didn’t ever want to see him again, I went very heavily into reading my Common Prayer book and I encountered Jesus in my everyday life, I walked on several occasions with him and John the Baptist and Paul the appostle, too becoming so openly clairvoyant, psychic whatever anyone wants to call it, I became a project X for those above, ……….