my thoughts are all over the place
Today is hard because it's the beginning of the month that I lost you. We lost you. Nothing could ever describe or compare to the hurt it made me feel and continues to make me feel. I remember it SO vividly. I had just gotten home from traveling from South Carolina and had been home not even a week and met you on Sunday, Father's Day, at church. I remember your face and how tired you looked. You looked so different, just exhausted. I could see that change in you, and I just hugged you and stayed by you until we decided where to go to eat for lunch. I remember you suggested Cici's Pizza, but I didn't have enough money to pay for my siblings and had a coupon for Taco Villa, so I asked if we could go there instead—of course you said yes. I met you there and you got a taco salad, and we sat in a booth together across from each other. You were hounding me questions about Thomas and traveling and just life in general, and I loved it. I loved all of it. We had been there a good maybe two hours before we decided to go ahead and head home, and we walked outside and you came to my car you had never got the chance to see before then, and asked me more questions about it, haha. I told you you could take it for a drive sometime, and you just laughed and said, "Oooooh, alright" and you got in your car and I remember watching you drive off out of the parking lot while I got my siblings situated in the car. And I went home and met a friend for coffee that day.
The Weirdest Sexual Assault
Growing up, I was always assumed to be a lesbian by my friends, classmates, and people I didn't even know. I'm really not sure why or how I gave off the vibe that I was lesbian, because I happen to be a very straight woman! I don't know if the fact that people thought I was a lesbian is why guys never did hit on me, or if I seemed intimidating by some means? I'm still really unsure of the whole thing. But guys never did try and flirt with me or ask me out, which I was completely fine with! However, I did get the occasional weird dude saying weird stuff to me. When I got a job working at Chipotle, I discovered a whole new world of weird ass dudes.