“Sorry for your loss…” I’ve always hated when people say that crap at funerals. Of course you’re sorry, someone just died. I mean what is that? As if I didn’t already feel terrible and unhappy for the death of the most important person in my life. I don’t mean to be rude, and of course I accept every stupid “sorry” from people who want to express their sympathy for my family and me, but Jesus Christ it just makes me feel worse. Sorry, I don’t exactly know how to deal with grief. I’m working on it, okay?
I take my usual traffic-infested route; nothing new in CaliforniaMy excitement builds as I get toward the off rampI near the gate and my heart racesI’ve crossed this entry a million times before, though every time is still the very firstWhen I walk through the arches and hear the music, whatever I had been stressing about vanishesI walk these cobblestone streets and I am forever in aweEven the friggin’ buildings are happy to be there
Late-night self pillow talk: “Tomorrow is the day… I am getting up at 5:30 and going running, and then after work I’m gonna hit the weights. LEGS! Yeah, it’s a good day for a leg day. Oh my god, it’s gonna be the best workout I’ve ever put together.”
I didn’t know I wanted youYou were so sure of meStaring as if you knew meAt what, I couldn’t see
Growing up most of us latch onto one person: someone you always want to follow or be around; someone you want to emulate; someone you think the world of. For most of us, that person is one of our parents. For a lot of girls, it’s dad. We’re all “Daddy’s little girl,” aren’t we? You choose Daddy over Mommy almost every time, because almost always he’ll say “yes” when Mommy tells you “no.” You live for the days you get to go places, just you and him; you look forward to Career Day at school because in your eyes your dad has the coolest job; you dream of the day your dad walks you down the aisle to your soon-to-be husband. All the things a girl needs, she can count on her dad. Right? Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? That’s what I thought; I mean that’s what the songs and movies say…