Why me?

I have lived for 18 years.

18 years that were only shadowed by the curse.

I just stayed in place, watching everyone move to reach their dreams in the sky.

I have tried, I am not lying.

However, my efforts were devoured by the curse.

Every step, I only think about other people's views.

I only think about how I can step over failure.

I don't want to fail.

If the reason must fail first to reach there, I don't want to.

So, when I am really at the point of failure, I will stop and find a shortcut.

It keeps repeating.

I know very well that it is not true, but my mind has worked together with my heart.

They really devour my actions.

Can I say that I hate them?

Do I have to get the curse?

Can I refuse?

Is this like a punishment?

Did I make a mistake to get punished?

Who is this punishment from?

How much longer?

Can I end it myself?

I beg you, someone, please stop this.

That's what I think every time I want to rest from the exhaustion that eats away at my mind and body.

People call it fear.

And I call it a curse.

Can I?