Solitude

Solitude. Not to be sappy…or emotional…or depressing…but, sometimes, it’s better to just be alone…I thoroughly enjoy being alone. But, if I’m being honest, I’m starting to seriously wonder if this is what my life will be like forever…I came into this world alone and I guess there’s a high chance I’ll leave it alone too? And to be clear: I am alone. not lonely…just like anyone else, I do crave intimacy…in many ways. But, it’s starting to feel like, this is it…I’m getting older, can’t seem to nail down that love thing…so all thats left is to continue enjoying my solitude. There is this small thought in the back of my mind though…what if I’m MEANT to be alone? What if I’m one of the few people who never find love? Will I never have someone to come home to? No little ones calling me mommy and begging me for another juice? No partner, no spouse to ask me what’s for dinner? No wedding anniversary? No ‘I stopped by the store and thought of you’ gifts? No ‘be ready by 8 and wear that dress I like?’ No ‘till death do us part?’ …I enjoy my solitude, but I still crave intimacy…I still crave love…I still crave more. I still crave more…maybe one day, I’ll get more. Until then, I’ll enjoy this solitude