Spiritual Bypassing

When someone says spirituality, what pops up in our mind? Temples, yoga, meditation, Guru, Chakras, sunset, and much more. Spiritual practitioners often experience emotions like inner peace, detachment, enlightenment, calmness, contentment, and happiness.

These emotions are lovely, but how do we know that these emotions we are experiencing are genuine or just reactions to something else? Are we avoiding darker, negative, and painful thoughts in the name of spiritual detachment instead of facing them? Are we falling into the trap of spiritual bypassing? Let’s find out in this blog.

What is spiritual bypassing?

In 1984, American psychologist John Welwood came up with the term spiritual bypassing when he observed that few of his patients tend to surpass negative or darker emotions in the name of spiritual practices.

Spiritual bypassing tends to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks. Another term for the spiritual bypass is premature transcendence.

Many spiritual practitioners experience this during the beginning of their spiritual path. When we try to rise above worldly pains, possessions, and mess before achieving, facing or accepting them with courage, we fall into the trap of spiritual bypass. This is nothing but the facade of a superficial experience of liberation instead of the genuine one.

Signs that you are spiritually bypassing

Spirituality is not just about good vibes, positive moods, unity, love, peace, or light. It’s about accepting the negative or darker side of yours and moving on. Spiritual bypassing allows us to avoid these negative emotions and pretend everything is okay. But, it’s not always easy to know that you are falling for this kind of bypass; let’s check out the signs that we might be spiritual bypassing.

-Spirituality is about practicing and experiencing it instead of just reading the scriptures. Intellectual bypassing is one of the subtypes of spiritual bypass when we speak about spirituality without direct personal experience.

-Many of us like to get along with others. When there is a dispute between our inner knowing and the teachings of a religious group, we often go with the group to avoid conflict.

Feelings are natural, yet in the name of practicing detachment, we often tend to suppress our feelings.

-When someone tells us about their problems, instead of listening and trying to help them, we reject them, saying, please do not spread your negativity here, I need only positive vibes.

-When we face the death of our loved one, we often say they are in a better place.

-When nothing goes as per our plan, it leads to frustration. We deal with that hopelessness and frustration. We often say it’s part of God’s plan to deal with that frustration.

-When things get tough, when we feel surrounded with problems with no end in sight, we keep on hanging, thinking this too shall pass.

-When it comes to confrontation or disagreement, instead of addressing the real issue, we say, let’s pray to God.

-If someone crosses their boundaries, and behaves hurtful, insulting, or toxic, instead of confronting, we pretend to be tolerant and neglect them.

-Sex is another taboo in spiritual circles. Instead of accepting our sexuality, we often see sex as an obstacle in our spiritual path, leading to spiritual bypassing.

Bypassing the spiritual bypass

Let’s clarify that nothing is wrong with some spirituality or meditation when we are in distress. But if that takes away our ability to respond appropriately, it causes trouble. If you are in the jungle, being chased by the hungry wolf, you have to stand on the ground and fight. Prayers or meditation will get you killed there. Nor the hungry wolf will understand the philosophy of non-violence and universal love. Hence it’s vitally important to identify and avoid the spiritual bypass. Let’s take a look at how we can do this.

-Creating Awareness. Becoming aware of our thoughts is an integral part of spirituality. With meditation, mantra chanting, and mindfulness, we can be aware of our own thoughts. With a Sakshi Bhav, the witnessing attitude will make you aware if you avoid the feelings instead of facing them.

-Self-compassion. Life is full of unexpected twists. Some are good, and most of them are wrong, or they may seem like it at those times. You need some self-forgiveness to cope with all this negativity. If you have created self-awareness, you can recognize and accept what these triggers can cause. At the same time, the witnessing attitude paired with self-compassion will intimate you about the action that needs to be taken.

-Auditing the beliefs. Since childhood, we have been programmed that some emotions are better or superior to others. When we face so-called unpleasant or lesser feelings, we tend to bypass them by any means possible. We must have the self-confidence that even though we face these unwanted, dark, and negative emotions, we can work through them with integrity, self-compassion, and experience.

-We are the power. We are part of the Divine soul, and we can face anything that life throws at us. Through soul searching and meditation, when we begin to be self-aware, we get to know our true, limitless powers, which could easily overcome the obstacles instead of hiding from them.

Spiritual bypassing is a common thing, especially among the new practitioners. But we must understand that spirituality is all about the journey instead of the destination. Facing the fears, unpleasantness, negativity, darkness, and sorrows is part of the journey, which cannot be avoided. These experiences make us stronger and to be more self-aware. All we need is some guidance from our Guru to stand firm in front of our weakness, taking one step closer to the Divinity.