Bye Bye Instagram

It's only been five minutes that I put my phone down and stopped scrolling through Instagram.

30 seconds later...

... Oh look, Alex posted a picture of him on vacation in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Lucky. I wish I could afford to go on vacation. How are people so fortunate to travel for a living and get paid for it? I want to do that. I want to visit other countries and experience their culture and delicious food.

I see all of these posts on my feed and I instantly feel depressed, jealous, and alone. It was like this each minute of the hour, every day. No matter how excited social media made me feel, it also made me feel miserable. I was upset with myself because I let myself feel like this. I would see pictures of celebrities or influencers and instantly found myself wanting to post pictures the way they would. I made my Instagram account something I really was not. For instance, I would only post pictures of myself being around scenic views and tag the location or take photos of things that looked vintage and urban to me. Which made my account look pseudo—made me feel this way as well. And to other people, my friends, they probably felt what I was feeling—"Man, Awatif's always doing something fun, I wish I could do that," when in reality, I was not. I feel the same as they do—bored and envious.

Do you see where I am going here?

It was like this every day—there was no change in my life. I kept my phone close to my bed. The moment I woke up, I caught myself scrolling through Instagram, viewing my friend's timeline, seeing who looked at my video or picture, and then watched several feeds. I had no self control. I felt like I was missing out if I did not update myself on Instagram. However, I had to do something about my media consumption. After years of using social media applications (every single minute of every single day) I had to cut ties.

It's been 5 months since I deleted my Instagram.

It was the BEST CHOICE I HAVE EVER MADE. At first I felt disconnected, but then a few days went by and I did not miss it. I had no urge to go back. Having social media accounts take up a lot of our time. We miss out on ourselves and our loved ones.

Once I put down my phone, I engaged more with my family, hung out with my friends, and spent more time with my boyfriend. Oh, most importantly, I learned to make time for me. I learned new things about myself and finally engaged in things I enjoy, such as writing, reading, exercising, and pampering myself because I deserve it. I am also appreciating more things that are surrounding me.

Now, I am not going to completely cut social media out of my life but I will take control of how I utilize my time on my accounts. Will I ever create another Instagram? Maybe, but right now it feels right to own my freedom and not have anyone judge me or my work. Granted, as much as we say to ourselves and others, "I don't care what people think of me," deep down we do. We are human, we are subjected to feelings, but that does not mean we should let our networking apps get the best of us. We deserve a break from the virtual world and to own our personal world. Go out there and find yourself, because you deserve it!