Bad Apple

I'm starting this morning off much like every other morning... by cracking open a nice crispy, cold can of Monster. Today, it's Bad Apple... which is like apple juice that's been struck by lightning. I'm waiting for people to tell me how bad Monster is for me and how they hate it in the comments... something I frequently get... but happily say "live and let live to". Bases are covered, friends. We can move on.

As the sweet, carbonated hiss of taurine fills the air and the caffeine hits my bloodstream... my laptop keyboard feels like it's waiting for me to begin typing at 170 energy induced words per minute.

We need to talk. Specifically, about Vocal.

Not that long ago, the Vocal team announced a massive, sweeping initiative. They promised they were going to clean up this neighborhood (which honestly didn't feel very messy at all to me). Anyways, they promised to purge the spam comments that make our comment sections feel like sketchy pay to win app advertisements on TV. They vowed to slash the endless sea of AI generated slop stories that have been flooding the new stories page and drowning out actual human creativity. They even introduced a brand new verification process for us to prove that we are, indeed, flesh and blood mortals who type with actual fingers. It sounded beautiful... I know many of us were excited about the changes.

However, what we ended up with was something that feels like someone tried to clean up a dusty living room with a leaf blower.

Let's start with that shiny new verification process, which I can only assume was designed by a paranoid cyber-security wizard living in an underground bunker. This thing gaslit so many people. It knocked us around like pins at a bowling alley. Vocal was telling us we were good, Stripe was saying we were good... but still no fancy blue check mark for proof which blocked us from our earnings and stats. It took me about a week to finally get my own badge of honor. I know some people are still struggling with it and that's crazy to me. Some people were completely locked out of their accounts. My work was lost (thankfully it all came back) but it was gone for about two days. This happened to others as well.

We all sat and waved our IDs and took selfies screaming into a digital void to prove we exist and we are who we say we are. Weird, because this was something we all already had to do upon opening a Stripe account in the first place... but ok. We did it again. Around seven long days trapped in verification purgatory... do you know how many milligrams of caffeine I can consume in a week while refreshing that stupid page to see if I finally had my check mark? My blood type is probably Pipeline Punch.

And what did I get for surviving the Great Verification Tournament? Well... not my stats. Or my earnings. They were still locked away for another few days. Everything went to a big fat 0. they're back now... but struggling in comparison to what they were before all of this happened. Also, some of these stories claim there are only 5 or so reads... meanwhile, there are over 20 comments on some. The math isn't mathin, Vocal.

In the midst of the chaos, I managed to secure a Top Story! Yay! In the days before the updates, this would be a cause for celebration. A little bit of digital confetti and a little bump added to my wallet. Instead, it's seven days later and I still haven't even received an official notification about winning it... or my precious $5 prize. It feels like a surprise party where the host said "Surprise!!" but forgot to bring the cake and gifts. So, I'm just sitting here... talking to myself like, "Hey! I did the thing! Where's my shiny gold coin?!"

The mystery doesn't stop with the missing prize money or lack of notification. My entire dashboard has decided to come and go as it pleases. I am missing both subscribers and subscriptions. If you notice I have been particularly quiet on your work... well.. I probably lost the subscription I had. I'm slowly resubscribing to those I see come up as well as some new people, but it's been a process.

As if that wasn't enough chaos, a lot of the notifications I do get are utterly useless. My feed feels like a series of anonymous ransom notes. I get a notification telling me "someone" has posted a story. Great! Who is it? Often, Vocal won't tell me. It's a mystery... the platform equivalent of a stranger tapping you on your shoulder in a dark alley and whispering, "A person has written a sequence of words somewhere on this earth," and then evaporating into the abyss. I feel like it's been impossible to support my fellow writers when this notification system is auditioning to become a secret agent...

To rub salt in my open wounds, I've gotten a ton of spam comments in the past few days. Yes, I've reported them all... but when you're promised this was all to fix these things and then they prevail HARDER than before... it's a bit disheartening, ya know?

So, here I am... sipping Monster, ignoring an eye twitch, and holding on. I'm not writing this because I hate Vocal... I'm doing it because I absolutely adore this community. The writers here are brilliant and the feedback (spam aside) feels genuine. The creative spirit here in unmatched. I'm not packing my bags up and leaving or anything... but I am incredibly ready for the dust to settle and the platform to get back to normal.

So... Vocal... let's get all the plugs back into the correct outlets, please. We are ready to write. We're ready for new challenges... and to actually get paid for them. We're ready to be done with the verification loop and the crickets... it's a ghost town around here. And for the love of God, I beg you... please do not incorporate ads here. Nobody wants or needs it. In fact, any time I see an ad pop up on any site I'm reading, I immediately close it. It will not increase traffic. It will deter it. Don't become spammy. Please. I'm begging you.