Bodies Are Just Bodies

A state of grace, acceptance and positivity, in regard to my body, has taken many years; in fact, most of my life. I have been a fat kid. Then a shy, much thinner teenager with low self-esteem and social anxiety. An exotic dancer, as a young adult in my early twenties. A victim of domestic violence and narcissistic relationships by late-twenties, which led to a stress-induced, borderline eating disorder. I became a single mother at age thirty-one. Then a yoga teacher at age thirty-nine. I have had my ups and downs with being comfortable in my body. So, I feel qualified to talk about this.

A couple of years ago, I began to notice, visually, more and more women feeling comfortable in their own skin. My daughter and I are beach bums in the summertime. We spend as much time as we can at the beach. I started to notice more women of different shapes and sizes wearing bikinis of all different shapes and sizes. My reaction: “You go, girl!”

One’s size, shape, color, should not indicate how much skin one shows at the beach! It is to be understood that the skin shown at the beach is meant for the sun! It is not meant to be judged, appreciated or shamed by others who pass by!

Wear whatever you feel comfortable in! If you want to strut in a skimpy dress on the weekends, go ahead! You have a right to clothe yourself however you like. No one has a right to judge you or put you down based on your physique or how you dress. That’s just shallow.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Two different people are not obligated to adore the same things visually, or agree on something’s attractiveness, because it is subjective. This is why we all like different styles of art, music, films, vehicles, recreation, etc.

As a culture, we need to do our part to undo the negative effects of a long-projected media display of bodies that are “good” (praised) and bodies that are “bad” (shamed).

These stories run deep in society, families and individuals. We need to separate from these stories. Why is anything seen as “better” or “worse”? Simply because someone said so. Someone else agreed. And the stories were created, almost from a Darwin-type mentality, of differentiating physical characteristics, in terms of weak vs strong, geared towards survival.

What we must understand is, all of us are here- in different bodies, and minds, from various backgrounds and cultures. I don’t think God made a mistake in making any of us. Who we truly are lies beyond these characteristics. It is time we get past the exterior image and become more concerned with the human heart. Let people be. All bodies are different; they’re supposed to be! They’re simply vessels for our souls. Let people clothe and decorate their vessel however they want. Every body is a work of art.

We are beginning to understand the dynamics that have taken place in history that stamped these perceptions into society. Men have been the dominant gender in society since the beginning of recorded time. Women have significantly more body image issues than men. Movements continue to be created to question and change the so-called ideals. The call for action is the call for being realistic.

Women are stepping into their power. Women are owning their bodies and their place in society, to be, speak, and look however they want! The only approval we need is our own.

When my daughter was a toddler, she would giggle hysterically at men with no shirts on in the summertime. She saw that as a brazen move! She asked me “why doesn’t he have a shirt on?” I was stumped! I had to really think about it. The only answer I could come up with was because there’s a double standard- men can be topless without question, but women can’t, because that would be “indecent”. Meanwhile, there is controversy over women breastfeeding their babies in public, even if protected by a fabric sheath, somehow a mother feeding her baby the natural way is seen as “indecent”. Question these “morals”. It doesn’t make sense.

It should be a personal choice, every single time, when it comes to our bodies. They’re ours! They’re a sacred vessel! If you feel comfortable putting it all out there, cool. God bless you. If you feel more comfortable covered up, that is cool too. Because it is your body! No one should judge you for feeling comfortable in your own skin! In fact, this concept should be encouraged!

Feel comfortable in your body and let other people feel comfortable in theirs! It is really that simple. We don’t all have to like the same things, or all look alike. Accept that. It’s time to stop being so judgmental and compartmentalizing people. Expand your perspective. All people have worth, value, divine purpose and deserve dignity. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Humans should do their best to support each other’s well-being. Encourage each other’s confidence. There are no “good” bodies or “bad” bodies. Bodies are just bodies. Each one was made wonderfully.