NPD: Court Cases and No Conscience

Narcissists are pathologically self-centered. There is nothing sacred to them. There is no internal, moral sense of right and wrong.

It is all about appearances to the narcissist, how the narc looks to the outside world. Never mind the truth of any matter. That isn’t important to the narcissist.

Acknowledging the truth would mean they have a conscience, which they do not. And if they can believe their own lies, they will die trying to convince others of them too. To the narc, their delusions trump reality.

The narcissist does not want to look like a woman-beater or a deadbeat dad. Even if it is the truth.

The truth has no merit with the narcissist. Welcome to their weird world.

I have one beautiful child, biologically fathered by a malignant narcissist. It was during my pregnancy that the narc discarded me. He went missing for months, while I cried and did the pregnancy thing by myself. My aunt called him when I went into labor. He showed up at the hospital in a pink t-shirt and signed his paternal paperwork.

Shortly after my daughter was born, he came to my house trying to con me out of money, which I almost gave him. But the more questions I asked, the more irritated and belligerent he became. So, I said forget it; get out; I am not doing this.

Narcissists cannot take no for an answer. Things escalated quickly.

He wrestled me down and took the money, calling me every nasty name one could think of, and he backhanded me on his way out, leaving me with a busted lip, lethal anxiety levels, and a sense of powerlessness and despair I cannot even describe.

I phoned my aunt and told her what had happened. She said ‘he needs to go to jail’ and she called the police. The police came over to my house and a report was made.

The officer was very nice. He apparently knew my ex and said he never thought he would be dealing with this guy again on the day shift. The officer also shared with me that he is a stepparent himself due to abusive situations with his stepkid’s biological father. He said sometimes it is better not to have the biological parent around. The officer made a lot of sense and was very encouraging.

I decided I was not going to raise my daughter with a mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially abusive man. I was not going to let him come and go as he pleases and cause havoc anymore. He had been horrible the entire time my baby existed, in utero and after her birth.

He never once apologized for his behavior, any of it. Including having taken my money and hit me in front of my newborn baby, the baby he fathered and did not contribute a dime to. He did not help prepare for her birth at all. I went to parenting classes and pregnancy counseling alone. My family and friends helped me get the baby’s room ready. He did nothing. He did not buy her a single diaper.

Yet he went around flashing the baby’s professional pictures, that I had arranged and purchased. He gloated telling everyone he was a “dad” now. It was disgusting. He felt so entitled, yet he literally did nothing for the baby. Besides steal from us and clock her mom on his way out the door. I was done with his crap.

I filed for child support. Not surprisingly, that really pissed him off. He went crazy, insisting that I was just trying to bring him down by bringing these court cases against him. No conscience whatsoever.

So, he had two cases pending with the court- one for domestic assault and one for child support.

The domestic assault case came up in court first. Didn’t he have the nerve to show up with a very prominent, top dollar attorney! He was so smug. I’ll never forget it.

The state’s attorneys, who were pressing the charges against him, changed their tune from saying ‘he needs mental evaluations and jail time’ to ‘you have no broken bones, let’s put this all behind us’. He basically got off with a slap on the wrist.

After that came child support court, which is a long process. First, we were to have mediation, for which I took half a day off of work, and was present. He did not show, so they entered a default.

Apparently, the narc showed up much later, at his own convenience, as usual. And he was able to do the mediation without me. He sold his sob story to the court and they entered child support for $25/month, which is lower than the state minimum. This is a man who makes three times as much as I do. It was incredulous that he was still able to get away with this crap.

But he failed to pay his $25/month. So, back to court we went.

This time the judge was not empathetic toward him. She boldly questioned why he had failed to make such a low payment towards his one child. It is relevant to note here that my child’s father was not a young man. He was 43 when the baby was born.

My ex took up a bad attitude with the judge. He made horrible excuses and made it clear he could care less. She would ask him a question and he would yawn loudly. She quickly had had enough of him and held him in contempt of court. He was arrested on the spot.

He had more than enough money in his pockets to cover the menial child support debt he was arguing. He apparently just did not want to give it. He wanted everyone to take his shit.

He was able to bail himself out and pay off his child support that same day. But he remained incredibly angry over the whole ordeal as if it were someone else’s fault.

So, as you can see… there is nothing sacred to a narcissist, like having a newborn child who comes first and foremost. He has no respect for the baby or her mother.

He had enough money to obtain the best lawyer to get him out of trouble for his violence, which he was not even sorry for. He had enough money in his pocket to pay child support but refused until forced to do so.

It really is a pity. Everything has to be hard with these personality types. I learned a lot more than I ever bargained for in my time with the narcissist.