Marriage and some movies

Naked (2017), I don't know how she does it (2011), Couple of Days (2016), Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor (2013), It's Complicated (2009), and The Best Man (1999).

A spoiler warning is in effect! If you like this, you can get more of my articles when you subscribe to my account.

This is my third "and some movies" article. This is an extension of the "Valentine's day and some movies" article. I have already written about love but like most stages, it either ends or carries on to 'the happily ever after' of it all.

Video Credit: Msmojo on YouTube

After the professions of love, whether grand or minute, a result is achieved. The result may vary but it often leads to rejection or mutual understanding which often leads to marriage.

Naked

Summary

An unexplained cosmic assistance drags Rob Anderson back to an elevator repeatedly to relive the same events leading up to his wedding to his longtime girlfriend, Megan Swope. He is forced to make necessary decisions as he tries his best to navigate the situation of his location and nakedness on his way to marry the love of his life.

Takeaway

After they say they haven't spent that much time together, Megan says the best part is that they have the rest of their lives to do that before Rob asks, 'but what happens if I gain 50 pounds, my hairline starts receding? I stop making you smile?' Megan responds saying, 'now, I can deal with the bald head and some love handles but you're gonna have to put the work in to make me smile'. After her response, he said 'That's the easy part' and she said 'it is'.

Rob struggles with acceptance from Mr. Swope but Mr. Swope tells him, 'Robert, marriage is not a part-time thing. I built a multi-national company from the ground up, and the toughest job I ever had was being a husband. I'm talking long hours, overtime and we didn't take summers off. When I gave this ring to Megan's mother, I promised to give her everything I had. That I'd never stop proving myself to her, and that I'd never, ever stop loving her. This ring symbolizes that promise. It's very simple, son. You gotta put in the work'.

Rob gets support from Officer McBride and Officer Bentley who say, ' Our partnership's like a marriage. When shit gets thick, I know he's got my six'. They talk about devotion and sacrifice as they mention a bullet has been taken for the other and say that they wouldn't abandon each other because they are each other's 'ride or die bitch'.

Side-note

In one of his do-overs, Rob goes to his mother, Carol at a pub to seek advice and immediately she says, 'Oh, I was worried that this might happen'. He asks what she's referring to and she says, 'well, it's no secret that I was not the best mother in the world.' He said, 'look,ma, you did the best you could' and she said, 'well, i thought i did but i guess i didn't.' She ends up saying, 'my point is, my best would've been if I had met a man that I loved and he loved me and we started a family that you could be proud of.' He asks why she didn't then and she said, 'You know, Rob, I just couldn't get out of my own damn way, but it ain't too late for you. You don't have to repeat my mistakes. You just got to lose the nonsense and get out of your own damn way!'. He thanks her and takes her advice. He made a choice to break the generational fear.

Faves

Megan 

More details and my opinions about Naked are written in my "Naked drags you to confront your fears" article.

I don't know how she does it

Summary

Kate is a driven career woman, wife and mother. She juggles multiple responsibilities as she tries to achieve all but succeeds in most.

Takeaway

Kate went on a date with Jack, spent long hours at work, and missed important moments with her kids and husband. She rejected Jack who professed his love for her but she said that it's wonderful he feels that way and she hopes he finds someone who will mean as much to him as Richard does to her.

She said she made a terrible mess of things but is hopeful that she still has a place with Richard because that's where she belongs. Kate rushes to her family. She says to Richard, 'I know I drive you crazy but I love you, an amazing amount. And I am so sorry about everything'. She normally makes lists to lay out and prioritize her tasks. Richard adopts this and he lets her know. She looks at his list and sees 'Me and Kate' written on it and he says, 'Yeah. That's number one'. After she says things will still be a mess and that's her guarantee, he says, 'Yeah, it will. It'll be our mess. Right?' and she nods.

Side-note

Allison said, 'At work when you act like one of the boys, they call you abrasive and difficult. So you act like a woman, and they say you're emotional and difficult. So difficult is really just the word for anything that isn't a man'. She said this to speak on the office culture and how Kate was tested for being a mother who had and wanted to attend things for her family.

Her stability is threatened and her credit is stolen by people like Bunce. This is in line with Allison's other statement saying, 'A man announces that he's going to leave the office to be with a child, and he is hailed as a selfless, doting, paternal role model. A woman announces that she's going to leave the office to be with a child on it's sick bed and she is damned as disorganized, irresponsible, and showing insufficient commitment'.

Faves

Allison

More details and my opinions about I don't know how she does it are written in my "I don't know how she does it, really." article.

Couple of Days

Summary

Three couples and friends (Jude & Cynthia, Lanre & Joke, and Dan & Nina)at different stages of their relationships vacation at their friend's country home where truths are exposed and relationships are tested.

Takeaway

After witnessing some troubles, Nina says to Dan, "Promise me it's always going to be like this." Dan says, "I promise, why do you ask?" Nina answers saying, "It's the others. Like…their relationship is so cold and lifeless. Babe, they've got issues." He consoles her saying, "Everybody has issues." She expresses her concern and belief saying, "Yeah, but, love should solve those issues." He responds by saying, "Nina, you and I know that love is not the solution to every problem." She concedes. Dan and Nina are newlywed, unlike the other couples who talked to their respective genders about relationships changing as time passes and the effect of kids in a relationship.

Nina accepted that relationships have their challenges as she silently dealt with her's. When talking to Cynthia and Jude, she said, "One way or the other we have to learn about true forgiveness. That is the only way any marriage will survive its storms."

Right after her marriage, Nina found out that Dan had cheated on her and fathered a son. She felt betrayed and wanted to commit suicide. She said, "When the person you love keeps a secret away from you, you…breathlessness doesn't even describe the feeling." She questioned everything including herself and God. She said she understood that his keeping this secret from her shows that he loves her and through him, she's learnt the true meaning of forgiveness. She said she had to forgive him without him even asking for it and that is the meaning of true love. She said, "I cannot live without you, so I fought for you. I fought to forgive you." She said she loves and forgives him. She ends it by saying that he can bring his son home and she would treat him like she does him.

Side-note

Joke, despite saying the words "sorry'', did not express her apology with her actions which drained Lanre. She said to the girls, "he's always talking about his business and his dreams. I used to be his dream." This is sad as she said she still wanted love and affection despite her tough exterior but it seems delusional after we learned that she maxed out his dollar credit card forcing him to look for a way to gain the money back in order to pay Jude and Dan back(with interest as well). She's upset he keeps talking about it but she's not doing anything to remedy it as we saw in their car discussion when she said he's "bitching" about it and "moaning like a pregnant woman".

Her attempt to alleviate the blame saying, "as if people don't make mistakes" stems from her thirst for finer things immediately. We see that Lanre would be uncomfortable spending the weekend with his friends while tackling this situation. He asks if she has an excuse to tell them which she doesn't and he says, "Fine, I will take care of it. As usual." During their discussion, Lanre expressed that he wouldn't stop talking about it as he said, "as long as it is going to take for you to get our money back". She did not care for this and had asked how long he was going to keep sulking about it. He expressed his concern and said she needs to "control that shopaholic demon" she has.

We learn more about Joke and her priorities as she discusses them with the ladies in the kitchen. They try to emphasize patience to her saying that Lanre is not disgustingly rich yet but she should give him time. However, Joke talked about not caring if her man grows distant as long as he's working. She said, "Me, I won't mind if Lanre were that busy and brought home a lorry-load of cash". However, they still love and care for each other as Dan says, "Lanre here has only ever loved one woman" and Joke still wants Lanre despite her false interest and needs.

Faves

Nina

More details and my opinions about Couple of Days are written in my "Couple of Days stresses forgiveness" article.

Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

Summary

We are made known of Judith's past through her cautionary story told as a marriage counselor to advise a woman seeking validation outside her marriage. We follow her on her journey under the guise of it being her sister's story and we learn her potential and actual consequences.

Takeaway

We get the story of Judith and Brice after learning about Lisa's feelings for Bradley. She said, "He's a good guy. He's consistent and loving. But I feel like we're roommates and not husband and wife." They are high school sweethearts. Bradley still loves her and asks what he needs to do after she says she believes that people change. She said she's not the same girl who was in love with him in high school.

Judith detects something and talks to Lisa alone. She realizes that Lisa met someone and she goes on saying, "…and he's showing you everything you've been missing. This new guy, he excites you. He buys you flowers and he, he tells you that you're beautiful. He says all the things that Brad doesn't." She tells Lisa that this doesn't matter to her and that she's not there to judge her but her honesty would help her get to the real issues for the counseling. She decides to tell her her story to help her out.

Harley asks her the age-old question, "Are you happy?" She quickly responds saying, "Yeah. Yeah, very happy. He's a great guy" despite looking like she's trying to convince herself. He says, "Good for you. Especially good for him. He's a lucky man, Judith" and to avoid things going further, she says they should continue working the next day.

Things get much worse between them. Brice says, "I think I lost my wife." He also said that he didn't even know things were that bad but Melinda says, "Brice, sometimes we can get comfortable with people and that's what causes the problems. That's how it is." He said he didn't even know she was unhappy and Melinda said, "Well, she probably wasn't. Most times you're happy until somebody comes along and shows you something different." Brice says to her, "Maybe I did take her for granted." Melinda says that even if he did, this is still wrong and he can't take responsibility for what she did.

Ms. Waco joins the conversation and says, "You know she's met somebody that's making her look at life differently. Face it!" She also says that if a mob is fighting with bricks, you don't join unless you have one too after Brice asks what he should do.

Side-note

Harley is a scary individual. Why didn't her boss, Janice warn her well? Sometimes people warn in detail and other times they don't. Before Judith's trip with Harley, she warned her. She said, "Be nice. Be aware. Have fun. But most of all, be careful. I know you're a smart girl, but this is another league you're in. Trust me." After Judith officially got with Harley, she came to Janice to quit her job. Janice used this moment to warn her again. After a sigh of disappointment, she said, "Little girl, you have no idea what you are in for. But I wish you all the best with your struggle."

Before they fully get together, she visits him after talking to him at home. Harley tells her to leave his place after he is annoyed. She insults him and throws things at him but he laughs knowing she will be back. Brice tries to win her back. He goes to the club and begs her to come back. He says he would even forget this whole thing and apologizes but she said she felt dead with him and he is not a phenomenal man before apologizing for failing at loving him.

Her mother thought she was taken by the devil and that this relationship would only lead to her demise. She said God is not pleased and that she's changing. She said to her, "Sweet baby, please stay. Please stay. You're not safe. I brought all the sisters here to pray for you. We need you to stay here." She says that she's in danger and that she should stay with them as she calls him 'Satan'. However, he yanks Judith from her mother letting her mother fall as they leave.

His truly evil side shows after they leave and they argue. Thinking she was leaving, she said she would give him some space since "this really is not healthy". He says, "Judith, you know that I'm just crazy in love with you, okay?" before he beats her to prevent her escape. After figuring out, that Melinda's dangerous ex is Harley, Brice drives over to save her as he says to her, 'My wife is with him'.

He finds her battered and bruised in Harley's bathtub and she says, "Brice I knew you'd come" before saying she deserved the beating but Brice disagrees. She confesses that she was so mean to him and apologizes twice before asking about their relationship. She said, "You think we can fix it? we can fix it, right?" and he said 'we'll fix it." She said to him, "I hurt your heart." He puts her in the car before going back to beat Harley up but Melinda tells him to stop. Then we see her face him finally as he calls her real name, Karen before saying, "I knew you'd come back." Brice warns him to never come near them again. He protected them the way he felt was necessary utilizing violence as well.

Faves

Melinda

More details and my opinions about Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a marriage counselor are written in my "Temptation makes you question if you're truly unhappy" article.

It's Complicated

Summary

A divorced couple, Jane and Jake were married for 20 years. A reconnection makes them question giving their relationship a second chance. They reach a new agreement for their relationship which confuses everyone before a final decision is reached.

Takeaway

Jane's friend, Sally says that they were getting along and it almost felt like old times. Jane responds by saying, "We do know how to do this by now. It's been 10 years."

Jake and Jane embrace the notion of an affair and they more spend time together. After Jake praises her for taking the salt from him, she says, "I have a confession to make. Back when we broke up, I knew it wasn't all your fault." He asked if she meant that since she had never said that before and she said, "I know. Because when you cheated, I didn't have to. I think in some way. I gave up on us. And I'm not sure you ever really did." He said he still hasn't. He appreciates this moment and holds her hand saying, "We got really close there for a moment."

Jake says to their kids, "Okay, just let me explain. The reason that I left Agness was not just because my marriage wasn't working. I've also fallen in love, back in love with your mother. Maybe…I never stopped loving her. I know it's shocking, but I think this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Your mother and I have been seeing each other ever since New York. I found my way home. I hope she'll take me back." The kids could not be happy about the possibility because they were still processing the divorce but they were saddened when Jane said there was no chance of a repair.

Jane tells them, "Knowing how to be divorced is next to impossible and sometimes, over the years, I have thought that your dad and I weren't quite finished. And as it turns out, we weren't. So, I went out of my comfort zone, which I found out if you're really honest with yourself, isn't all that comforting. And I experimented with a part of myself because I wanted to know if after all these years there was still something there between us." She adds, "And I realize that even though your dad and I once had something extraordinary, now…we no longer really fit together. But he is a part of me. He always will be."

Side-note

Jane had to learn how to live by herself and adjust to her new normal. They were married for 20 years and divorced for 10 years. She enters another new normal as an empty nester. She runs a restaurant and is making changes she always wanted. When talking to the architects, Jane says, "I've been thinking about this addition for ten years." and she adds, "I'm finally getting a real kitchen with four walls and a place to put everything I want."

When talking to Adam about the number of sinks in her bathroom she says, "Oh, God, we're talking code about my life now. The truth is, in my current bathroom, I have two sinks, and sometimes, the other sink makes me feel bad."

Her friends feel she's selling herself short. She had said that Agness has a big job running a whole marketing department which is something she often says as her friend, Trisha points out. Diane comments on Agness and Jake by saying, "he cheats on you with her, your 20-year marriage ends. Then six months later, she leaves Jake and runs off with some random guy, has a baby, then leaves that guy for Jake. And she's not nuts?" Jane expresses her difficulty as she tells Joanne, "Oh, Jo, you are so lucky Jerry is dead. No, I mean, you don't have to bump into him."

She visits her therapist, Dr. Allen for sound and unbiased guidance which leads to even more confusion. She was conflicted but came prepared with a list of numerous things the affair was possibly about. She asks to be told what to do and she's told, "What's interesting is, I'm already seeing you open up more than you have in some time. I'm thinking, through this affair, you may learn to view the world in a different way." She says she can't let go of the guilt and fear and he shockingly encourages her by saying, "Let go, Jane. It can't hurt."

They carry on with their affair but he misses one of their appointed dates. When they meet, she expresses her feelings about things. She says, "You were worried about rocking the boat at home. Well, you're rocking my boat now and I don't like it. You don't understand. I'm not even blaming you. I fully participated in this but I just don't want to do it anymore. The last thing in the whole world I should be right now is your mistress. Sitting around at 9:00 at night wearing heels and perfume and blowing all the candles out and wrapping everything in Saran Wrap because your wife cancelled her plans. It was just - it was humiliating." She carries on by saying, "Look, I've had a pretty good life these past 10 years. I have figured it out. I no longer feel alone or divorced. I just feel normal. You know how long it took me to get that balance back?" After he said 'no', she said, "Well, I'm going in the wrong direction here. You know, the worst part is, it feels like it used to feel. All the little untruths…hard to catch but they mount up."

When she spoke to her friends about this earlier they had a few opinions. She informs them about it by saying, "I am having an affair with Agness Adler's husband." They laugh about calling it genius until Jo says it's also kind of wrong returning to her morality on the issue. Jake had cheated with Agness and married her so this was ironic. However, Jo says that she had him first anyway. Trisha says that she could do better than Jake anyway after Jane says she doesn't really want him back. Feeling insulted, Jane sarcastically thanks her but Trisha explains by saying, "No. I mean, you've outgrown him. You've blossomed. You've feng shuied your whole life. Just please don't let him talk you into saving him."

Faves

Harley and Adam

More details and my opinions about It's Complicated are written in my "It's Complicated reminds you to move on" article.

The Best Man

Summary

Harper is the best man for his best friend, Lance's marriage. There is a reunion between all the college best friends and they discover more about each other. The secret in Harper's explosive and successful book warrants various reactions and consequences to the relationships in the friend group.

Takeaway

Lance dated Mia through and after college. However, Lance often cheated on her. This was his reputation despite being in a relationship. Lance questioned Harper about his portrayal as "the Ebony Humper" in his book. He asked if he truly was as bad as the character and as Harper confirmed it, he jokingly did too. The subject of his faithfulness is brought up again and he said he felt he had done enough. He said he was ready to marry Mia his 'rock'.

Lance once said to Harper, "Marriage is the cure for promiscuity". He said that before saying, "That applies to me, that don't apply to you" and "Go ahead and be a dog, dog." He said this to encourage Harper to go for Jordan despite Robyn's existence.

Side-note

For more on The Best Man, check out my "The Best Man franchise/series" list.

Faves

Robyn, Julian, Quentin, and Candace.

Book Club: The Next Chapter

Summary

The journey of the 4 best friends and book club members continues. We follow the lives of Sharon, Carol, Vivian and Diane around Vivian's engagement.

Takeaway

Arthur and Vivian are engaged. She felt conflicted about the engagement, relationship dynamic and the change of becoming a wife. She mentioned during her dress fitting, "I never imagined myself as a bride." She and Arthur reunited and took their second chance at love. She believed that being a girlfriend was the best position and "the greatest thing in the world." She said, "Oh it is! Being a girlfriend is sexy, it's exciting. You know it means you love somebody and you're committed to them but you still have your own life. You haven't given yourself up to society's conventions. It's all about choice. You choose to be there but you can leave anytime you damn well please."

Arthur learnt this and made some changes. During the wedding ceremony, he brought out a letter and read it to her. He said, "I don't need the title of Husband and I don't need the institution of marriage to know that I'm gonna choose you every day." He talked about how he proposed to her in their twenties because he loved her so much and he knew then. He said he still loves her but differently and that he came to understand her a little better. He said she's like a perfect circle in need to roam free anyhow she wants and if she's not, then it's not her and it's her he loves. Then, he knelt to ask her to not marry him and she accepted happily.

Sidenote

Sharon said, "No. Life is what you make of it. So do something. Do something brave. Do something, unexpected but do something." The intention of the quote is present in the first and second movies. They made brave changes and took chances in different areas of their lives (Bruce with accepting age, Vivian with accepting commitment, Diane with living for herself, etc).

Faves

Carol and Mitchell.

More details and my opinions about Book Club: The Next Chapter and Book Club are written in my "Book Club: The Next Chapter tells you to live unapologetically" article.

Love is "just a word until someone gives it meaning"-Sharon from Book Club.

If you enjoyed this, for more of my articles:

• you can check through the Geeks category on my profile or the "…and some movies" list on my Medium account
• subscribe to my account and/or subscribe to my mailing list
• visit my linktree and/or my Twitter account