Jack Faulkner
Bio
Stories (25/0)
Transcript of the First Republican Presidential Debate
In a worldwide exclusive, we has acquired the transcript of the debate via single-use access to a time machine. Could we have used it to travel back to 1889 to kill baby Hitler or to 2016 to delete to the master tapes of Baby Shark? Sure. Did we instead frivolously skip ahead a couple days to get a sneak peak at the first and largely irrelevant Republican Presidential Debate? You bet we did.
By Jack Faulkner9 months ago in The Swamp
On Concussion and Stolen Moments
Sometimes I meet someone on the streets of my town who strikes up a conversation like an old friend. At some point, I interrupt to say I don’t actually know who they are. This is followed by an explanation that a severe concussion in 2018 wiped a lot of memories from my mind, which is true, and that is why I don’t remember them, which sometimes isn’t.
By Jack Faulkner10 months ago in Psyche
I should be President (again), not little Ronnie. What should I do?
Are you a petty dictator, cancelled movie star, or aspiring politician with a tricky problem? Welcome to Bad Advice, the first advice column for the rich, the famous, and the dangerously unhinged.
By Jack Faulkner10 months ago in Humor
Benjamin Netanyahu’s Democracy Problem
Bibi, we need to talk. You’ve been many things in your many turns as prime minister of Israel. Reactionary, racist, authoritarian, nationalistic, opportunistic. None of those things are particularly out of character. Not for you, not for the many like you who have popped up in so many places around the world in recent years.
By Jack Faulkner10 months ago in The Swamp
The Mauler from Meta vs. the Twitter Terminator: The Musk/Zuckerberg cage fight we need to see
They are the two most hated men in America not currently running for President. And there’s a chance they may step into the ring for a knockdown drag-out mixed martial arts battle for the world social media heavyweight champion.
By Jack Faulkner10 months ago in Humor
Wanderers on the Earth
There is a persistent Left Bank legend that, when President François Paul Jules Grévy first set eyes of Fernand Cormon’s new work at the opening of the 1880 Paris Salon, he immediately ordered the artist be taken to the Palais de la Légion d’Honneur to receive France’s highest order of merit.
By Jack Faulkner2 years ago in Geeks