Talented Black creators spotlight #5. Jonathan Apollo.

I find that this beautiful young and talented Black man is particularly hard on himself. He has achieved his "self image" by going about his life in a different way from his peers, and has done a marvelous job of it without realizing how truly unique that makes him. Jonathan has a tendency towards humility which in no way detracts from his charm and masculinity. A much admired trait in today's fast paced 'self" first environment.

"Being one of a handful of Black employees at my last job nearly broke my spirit", he writes.

"As someone who deals in a creative space centered on openness, you'd think I’d be less hesitant to share the many experiences of white privilege and racism that I've encountered in my life. You'd be wrong, though.

I've purposely held back on sharing the most ignorant and violating encounters with non-melanated folk that I've gone through. Part of it was due to maintaining my peace. Another was related to not wanting to "shake the table" and make some white people uncomfortable. I see the dichotomy in this, but I suppose time, some healing, and more instances of feeling less than in public spaces have finally forced me to speak some of my truth".

You can read more of Jonathan's truth by clicking on the above story. ~~~~~~

Like all of us, Jonathan has days when he struggles to write, and doubts himself. Here is an excerpt from the story below:

"To give myself a bit of grace, being able to write a bit more frequently is a great accomplishment, especially from someone who feared I’d come way too close to losing this piece of me forever. When the words returned to me, I became petrified that my proverbial ink bowl would dry out too quickly if I kept dipping into it while still healing from my once-empty state of mind.

I confess that fear still lingers. It’s smaller and less mighty today than a year ago, but I still fear it.

Additionally, acknowledging this fear has led me to another secret I’ve carried with me for far too long:

I don’t think I’m a good writer. I just think I’m pretty good at mimicking good writers".

{I beg to disagree} We all feel this way sometimes.

He writes of the loss of his mother and brother, and of the harsh toll which it took upon his and his mother's state of mind

Next month will mark six months since my mother departed this Earth.

To myself, however, next month will mark seven years since I lost the woman who raised and loved me.

To the world, my mother took her final breath in September of last year.

In my heart, though, we actually lost Momma the first week of March of 2015 – the same week my older brother and only sibling died of what we assume was a heart attack. ~~~~~~

Our condolences for your loss and grief Jonathan. May you find some peace and comfort writing and sharing here.

Finally...A decision is made:

There’s a part of me that wonders if I subconsciously avoided giving power to an unavoidable and undeniable truth by refusing to speak about it. It’s one that I’ve known and held onto for months or, maybe, even years by this point. Perhaps I was afraid of what it could mean to place this feeling into words, and what those words would cement not just to myself, but to others who pay me even an iota of their attention.

Then again, to simplify what already seems to be yet another clear attempt at procrastination, maybe finally doing just that this is the nudge I need.

I’m ready to write again. ~~~~~~~

Well, Hallelujah!!!

Welcome to the club Jonathan.

If Jonathan ever reads this, I hope to invite him to indulge in writing some poetry. Writing your emotions in short bursts of prose can be a balm to all the stresses and ups and downs of life.

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