Stephanie Van Orman
Bio
I write novels like I am part-printer, part book factory, and a little girl running away with a balloon. I'm here as an experiment and I'm unsure if this is a place where I can fit in. We'll see.
Stories (75/0)
Skip Sleeping Beauty
As a novelist, I'm always thinking of the best medium for a story to be told. Epic fantasy should be in video game format so that you can kill the monsters yourself. That would be far more satisfying than watching someone else do it. Mysteries should be in movie format because a cozy mystery should never take more than one night to complete. It's even better if you can cuddle with someone on the couch. Opera should not be played on the radio in the car. You should only listen to opera in an opera house. Outside its context, it's hollow and strange. I can understand the presentation of fairy tales in different formats, but Sleeping Beauty should be used in only one way. Let me take you there.
By Stephanie Van Orman9 months ago in Families
Traumatizing Dresses
You might begin reading this story about a traumatizing wedding dress thinking that is about how I carefully bought a wedding dress, poured all my little girl dreams into it only to have my groom horrifically betray me and for me to burn my wedding dress in an old oil drum at the dock. This is not that story, but I'd read that in a heartbeat.
By Stephanie Van Orman10 months ago in Marriage
The Autism Talk
On occasion, a parent will approach me and whisper in a hushed tone, "I think my child is autistic." I turn on them and say without any whispering or muttering because I am no where near as fearful as they are, "If you think your child is autistic, they probably are."
By Stephanie Van Orman10 months ago in Families
- Top Story - August 2023
If I Click On That... I Will Be PunishedTop Story - August 2023
The other day, I saw a story pop up on my newsfeed about a controversial film that was recently released. I will not tell you the name of the film, as that might color the way you read this article. Besides, it is not important. The important thing is that I wanted to learn more about it, but I hesitated to press the link. If I pressed that link, my preferences would be changed and I would get hordes of stories of a similar nature.
By Stephanie Van Orman10 months ago in Futurism
Johnny Mnemonic Gets A Different Story
As I am the novelist of six science fiction novels, I feel I can comment on this film and how it is confused. 'Johnny Mnemonic' is about a man who has given up his childhood memories in order to become a walking USB memory stick by storing sensitive information in his brain for travel. *SPOILER ALERT* At the end of the film, he gets his childhood memories back and they're so idealized that one has to wonder if they are real. Balloons? Grass? We haven't seen a blade of grass the entire film with the entire thing taking place in concrete jungles.
By Stephanie Van Orman10 months ago in Futurism
My Top Movies From 90s Top Actresses
I love movies! But I especially liked watching movies in the 90s. With that in mind, I got the internet to give me a list of the top ten actresses from the 90s. I'm going to shout out my favorite of their 90s films. Ready?
By Stephanie Van Orman12 months ago in Journal
When I Bleed From More Than One Place
I told Chris I was coming over to watch some movies with him before the dance. It was the most hilarious thing. I was sitting on one end of the sectional couch and he was sitting on the other, meaning there was room for at least five teenagers to sit between us. His parents were on their way out, having a big night on the town, but before they left, his mom was stuttering something to us. Something about how we weren't supposed to make out. She was deadly serious.
By Stephanie Van Ormanabout a year ago in Confessions
The Lord of the Night
Of all my boyfriends, I only officially dated one guy from my hometown. I was having a bad night and I wondered to myself how long it would take me to get Benjamin to ask me out. As it turned out, it took two and a half hours. Why does no one want to play hard-to-get with me? Why does every guy just give me what I want?
By Stephanie Van Ormanabout a year ago in Confessions
Six Guy Porch
I was driving home from Edmonton and as I pulled up to my house, I had six guys waiting for me to come home. At least two of those were my cousins, but still, I was thrilled that they were there. They carried my luggage and promised to take me to the movies that night. We were going to ride in my cousin's Volkswagen Beetle. Which meant, I was sitting on someone's lap. And at the end of the night, as I peeled myself off of Jack's lap, he called to me saying, “Call me tomorrow and we'll walk to the school together to pick up our schedules.”
By Stephanie Van Ormanabout a year ago in Confessions
A Little Bit of Nothing
We were alone in the car waiting for someone to join us. Darkness was not always lovely, but on that night, it was as I asked Chris questions trying to root out how unhappy he was and what I could do to help him. He told me everything like he had nothing to hide. Like what I thought of him didn't matter because nothing did. I had been worried he wouldn't trust me and that it would take me months of devotion for me to wear him down. He was nothing like me, in that he trusted easily, and told me everything about himself like I was a natural confidant. I had never met anyone so elegantly miserable, like sadness was an art form and he was a true artist.
By Stephanie Van Ormanabout a year ago in Confessions