Everyday Junglist
Bio
Practicing mage of the natural sciences (Ph.D. micro/mol bio), Thought middle manager, Everyday Junglist, Boulderer, Cat lover, No tie shoelace user, Humorist, Argan oil aficionado. Occasional LinkedIn & Facebook user
Stories (579/0)
Great Works of Literature - Vocal Style
In addition to my endless complaining about the absurd word count minimum for story publication on Vocal I also take issue with the nonsensical subtitle requirement. No matter how much I think about it, and it is actually way too much, I cannot for the life of me imagine what potential justification there could be to require every article or story published here to have one. This includes the poets community by the way. A poem with a subtitle is not a thing I even thought existed until I started publishing here. A story without a subtitle cannot even be submitted for screening by the censorship board (sorry I mean submitted for review to the moderators) without one. Can you imagine what the world would have been/be like if this were an ironclad rule of writing and literature, and had been since the beginning of the written word? Luckily, you don't have to as I have imagined it for you below. Normally I would have ended this introductory section right there. Right at the period after the word below. However when I had completed the piece and checked the word count I noted it was nowhere near 600 words. So, after a round of curses, head slaps, and sighs I had to think of a way to stuff more words into this crap fest of an story and the following was the best I could come up with. What you are now reading are the thoughts currently emanating from my brain. In other words you are reading the words coming out of my head currently, totally unfiltered, exactly as I experience them in my head, at this very moment. Or, I guess, actually for you the reader, it will be at some later moment but hopefully you take my meaning. Now, can you imagine having to live with this person 24/7 365 days a year. Ouch, right. Welcome to my world. Do you think I have hit 600 words yet? I am gonna say no, probably another one hundred or so to go. See how I typed out the word one hundred instead of using the numerals one and zero and zero. Smart right? And then I did it again in the sentence right after the first one. I could have typed out the numerals as numerals each time but that would not have padded my word count in the same fashion as fully typing out the words that the numerals stand for, or is it the numerals that stand for the words? Hmmm. That's a weird thing to think about isn't it. Which stands for which? Six hundred and ten. Nice.
By Everyday Junglist16 days ago in Writers
Satironic Meta Magical Realism
Narrator's preface: The writer who is the protagonist of the below story includes an author's preface in many of his written works. Generally these are full of psuedo intellectual clap trap that sounds intelligent at first blush, but upon closer inspection is actually nonsense. He was not available to provide an author's preface in this case telling me that he was busy "inventing a brand new genre of writing" which he had dubbed satironic meta magical realism. And there you have it, a perfect example of what I meant with that intelligent nonsense comment. Apparently he was doing this in order that he might produce a story he could enter in a writing contest for some two bit website nobody has ever heard of much less cares about. I told him good luck and offered to dream something up to cover his author's preface for this "story." His fan base which consists primarily of persons recently released from or soon to be committed to a mental institution, prisoners, hobos and homeless vagabounds get very agitated when he fails to include an author's preface in any given story he writes. Of course they also get agitated by anything anyone else considers normal. Ah well. Enjoy the below, or don't, it's no skin off my back either way.
By Everyday Junglist25 days ago in Writers
Dear Son or Daughter
Father's preface: Much of the material below includes adult language and themes. Depending on your age they may not be suitable for your reading just yet. If you have any doubt, ask your mom if it's OK, then do whatever she says. Also, please tell her that I love her and know that I love you, whoever, whenever, and wherever you are. Or should that have been whomever? Hmm. If we check with the grammar police for the appropriate usage we see that the word “whoever” is used to replace words like I, he, she, and they in a sentence. “Whomever” is a subject pronoun, meaning that it refers to the subject of a sentence. The subject of a sentence is the person that doing or performing an action. So, in this case it would be replacing 'you' and you are not an I, he, she, or they. I guess you are the subject of the sentence even though you are not technically doing anything or performing any action. You are just sitting there being asked to tell your mom that I love her and receiving love from me. So, I suppose if you actually do as instructed then you would be doing something, but that would be in the future, not at the time of your actually reading the sentence which ironically is in the future, at least from my perspective. Now that we cleared that up, read the stupid thing below, and I do love you.
By Everyday Junglistabout a month ago in Families
Biohacking
“Amateurs run medical experiments on themselves, joining a long and gory tradition among scientists.” The only accurate thing about the above statement describing the exploits of so-called biohackers is the use of the word "amateurs." The fact that the vast majority of 'biohackers' are amateurs cannot be denied. For the most part they have little to no formal training, and even less skill or ability. However it goes on to equate these amateurs with other “scientists” who have tried similar approaches in the past. These people are not scientists, and to suggest that they are is to give them way more credit than they deserve and only serves to encourage more dangerous and ill advised auto-experimentation. Frankly I could care less about how dangerous it is. Your body, your call, but I hate the idea of time being wasted and resources being diverted to deal with the consequences when these “experiments” inevitably crash and burn.
By Everyday Junglistabout a month ago in Futurism
To the Edge of Coyote Gulch
Author's preface: This is chapter one of a five part series which can be found here. “Where will you be heading into the gulch at?” asked the National Park Service Ranger stationed behind the counter at the Escalante visitor center upon hearing our request for a backcountry permit. When my companion Kat replied “40 mile trailhead” the old woman’s head snapped up sharply and she fixed us both with a hard gaze. “You do realize the trail there is a 45 degree descent. Are you both capable of handling that, with packs?” We nodded as she gave us the once over, appearing satisfied with what she saw she handed over the permit and we turned to leave. A 45 degree descent sounded challenging but that was exactly the reason we had made the long trip out to the Utah desert, to test ourselves against some of the most difficult backpacking conditions to be found in the United States and prove our mettle. At the time I was grateful for the heads up and warning, later I would curse the old woman for what she neglected to tell us. The 45 degree descent into the gulch was a one way trip, it simply was not possible to return up out of the gulch the same way.
By Everyday Junglistabout a month ago in Wander
Know Your Business to the Bottom
Recently a colleague for whom I have much respect was gracious enough to share a presentation about leadership and success in business he had been asked to prepare as part of a training program for future business leaders. The deck was great, full of outstanding advice of both the practical and philosophical variety. It was obvious the views expressed had come from hard earned experience, and not some fancy ivy league college business school or expensive training program available only to the elite, giving it a ton more credibility in my view. Of all the sage advice within one nugget really struck me. If you have not guessed by now, it happens to be the title of this post. It was framed as advice for how to succeed in business, but it has applicability across almost all areas of life.
By Everyday Junglistabout a month ago in Journal