The Elasticity of Opinions

Debates and disagreements on all things political, religious, economic, racial and social are very much a part of human life. As people, we are all so vastly different with unique lived experience, upbringings, viewpoints, and biases. If we operate in a world where we express ourselves and our thoughts and beliefs honestly with others, especially others who are in fact so different from us, debate is only natural. I have learned so, so much from talking about important subjects from debating with other people.

Now, no one’s a perfect debater. We all have our own drawbacks with how we maybcommunicate when we are having heated discussions about serious topics. I, for one, have the particular flaw of getting overly emotional. I let emotion slip through at times when it should not when I deeply care about an issue or situation and am discussing it, whether that emotion is anger, sadness, or frustration.

This is a flaw. Emotion around politics and such is inevitable and important, but it should not overtake or distract from the actual significance of the debate/conversation at hand, especially if you are not the victim or the most affected about the topic or situation you are discussing.

We’re all imperfect people and I understand that. But there’s one specific issue I’ve been taking with the debates I’ve had lately with certain members of my family, and that is the elasticity of their cemented, seemingly unalterable opinions.

This is what I have observed. I make a point. The person I am having the somewhat contentious conversation with acknowledges my point and even agrees with it. But the next time I find myself having the same conversation, always at the will of this other person, they speak and act as if I have never made the point once in my entire life. Like they have never once acknowledged the point, let alone agreed with it. As if it had never crossed their mind at all. Even if they agree with it again, when the topic again arises in the future afterward, they will have forgotten it and left it behind yet another time.

So, hey—this drives me insane. What in the world is that about?

These are what I have started to deem elastic opinions. People’s minds may stretch far enough to be able to consume a different take on their original belief, but critically they cannot even fathom the idea of considering it to be right or true—not even hypothetically. Not even for the length of one singular conversation. Like an elastic band, their original opinions snap back into place, and the people snap right back to who they were from before the conversation, as if it never happened at all.

I think the people in my life and in many of our lives hold to their opinions like a lifeline. This could be for many reasons. Maybe they’ve had the opinion for months, years, decades. Maybe the people closest to them have the same opinions. Maybe they feel in their heart and soul that they are right no matter what else can be said about it.

Some people will hold onto the same opinions forever, even if they no longer truly believe them. It gives them a familiarity and a comfort. If they do not believe in their own opinions anymore, they still feel restricted to those opinions and they cannot chance.

Or, although they may act like they want to pursue a genuine conversation about a topic, they do not actually want to learn or care to learn anything new. They just want to recite what they believe and retain it forever. I believe it may grant people a comfort to speak and act more intellectually than they truly are under the guise of determination and confidence. They are resistant to change, and knowingly so.

I know it may sound pretentious to say, but I can’t stand debating with people like this anymore. I really don’t know what the motive would be to have the same debates, to intake new information or opinions, to consider and acknowledge them for a millisecond, and then to let them go again. It is truly an anomaly.

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Just something I’ve taken note of recently. What do you guys think of this concept of elastic opinions? Do you guys know anyone like this? Or am I crazy?

Thanks for reading!