Writers are Fish Gasping for Oxygen; Reflecting on My Writing Helped Me Breathe

I read an article that explained why fish are often seen with their mouths open; they are gasping for air. You probably thought like I did that they breathe through their gills. Yes, they do. However, sometimes they take air in through their mouths, and this also helps cleanse the gills. The article explained that if a tank is crowded or dirty there might be a shortage of oxygen causing fish to gasp.

Recently I found myself breathing heavily after looking at my writing stats. The line on the graph was almost a straight line with slight increases and decreases. If that graph had been displayed on a heartbeat monitor, loud buzzers would summon doctors to my bedside. My writing was on its deathbed.

I reflected on the fish and realized they share commonalities with writers. Writers are small fish in a big pond. I realized there are so many authors competing for oxygen (reads) that it became imperative for me to slow down, float, examine the water, and breathe.

When I investigated which stories hooked the most readers, I choked at the discovery. It should have been obvious based upon my own reading preferences, but my mouth fell open, and I gulped as a convulsion of realization overwhelmed me. The posts with the most reads were those that shared intimate details with relevancy, honesty, truth, passion, and vulnerability.

Relevancy

Relevancy builds commonality between the reader and writer. When I taught high school, I knew students had to see the relevancy in the material to appreciate it. They had to identify a purpose for the lesson and understand how the information would impact their lives. Until I found a way to create a connection, I sounded like the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon, “Wah wah wah wah wah wah. Wah wah wah wah wah.” After examining comments on my writing, I realized this is true of writing also. Readers must find a purpose in the writing.

Honesty

Writers who discover their truths and write honestly capture the attention of readers. At first, I was hesitant to bare my soul. I feared readers would judge or worse, not care. I discovered the opposite. When I shared intimate details about my life, readers were engaged because they felt a connection. Honesty built relationships with the readers. They commented on similar events that happened to them; they offered encouragement; they said thanks for sharing my story.

For example, an idea for a narrative had been spinning around in my head for some time. I kept pushing it away because the topic was about sex as a senior. Momma always told me never to talk about politics, how much money you make, religion, or sex. After several conversations with peers my age, it became apparent the topic of sex was of interest, sometimes concern, so I attempted to share my experience.

When I told my husband the title, Seniors Enjoy Sex After Sixty, he shuddered. I read it to him, and he responded positively, “That’s cute.” Readers’ responses were similar after publishing the story in the publication Crow’s Feet. I found a way to address what I had thought was a taboo topic and readers appreciated the honesty.

Truth

I’ve learned my truths may not be the same as others. This realization taught me to share my experiences and allow others to apply lessons to their lives. Sometimes the lesson they learned wasn’t what I expected. The power of words allows one person’s experience to be universal.

This changed the writing from me giving advice to sharing what works for me. In Why a Trust Works for Us and Why it Might Work for You, I shared the value of a trust for our family and suggested others investigate the possible advantages to their situation. This slight shift empowered readers to investigate their truths and make informed decisions.

Passion

Passion from a writer evokes passion. Words hold power when they come from the heart. My husband and I met in 1980 and were married a year and a half later. I was 19 and after 43 years, I love him as much as ever. So, it only seemed natural that I shared our passion. One of my most read articles is titled How to Identify Forever Love. Readers embraced our success story that showed that a relationship can stand the test of time.

Though I felt nervous sharing my personal experiences, when I read my own words, I knew our story could reassure others of the possibility of forever love and encourage others to find their passion.

Vulnerability

Everyone struggles in life and though most of us do not like to be alone, we also usually do not share our pain. During my most painful moment, I sat alone and wrote. When my daughter had a stroke, I sat beside her bed and wrote. Writing provided a release as the words and tears joined on the page.

Writing allowed me to record events. Later while reading, the words revealed raw truths of how I felt, making understanding and acceptance attainable. When life calmed, I realized my family’s experiences could provide support to other trauma survivors and caregivers.

The pages became stories, the stories became chapters, and a book took root and bloomed. Publishing Understanding the Power of Not Yet: Accepting the Challenges of New Beginnings required courage because I allowed readers to see my pain. From the first chapter titled, Asking for Help is Difficult, but It is Harder to Survive Alone, I became vulnerable, opening my heart and mind to others. Readers have thanked me for sharing because our story provided them support knowing they were not alone in their trauma.

“I realized there are so many authors competing for oxygen (reads) that it became imperative for me to slow down, float, exam the water and breathe.”

During November, December, and January, I took a break from writing because I felt like a fish out of water. I was drowning. That is when I started to exam my writing and came to the conclusions that are shared above. I realized I had been publishing sterile articles that were muddying the waters. In my effort to get noticed, I was writing too much quantity and not enough quality. I had to stick to what I knew and share my reality.

Writing is my way of exhaling my reality so readers can inhale deep breaths of inspiration. That may be the corniest line I’ve ever written but if you are still reading, you get it.