You are NOTHING

He said to me: “You WILL talk to me with respect.”

This is the man who stalked me on the road in the middle of the night.

He said to me: “The respect the father of your child deserves…”

This is the man who almost drowned her with a showerhead.

He said to me: “I’m sorry you’re so childish.”

This is the man who ran me off the road with my child in the car.

He said to me: “You don’t know anything that happens over here.”

This is the man I have watched snort drugs up his nose repeatedly.

He said to me: “I won’t be spoken to like this.”

This is the man who chased me out of my own home for months — because he threatened to kill me.

This is the man who will start a fight — but the minute someone bucks up-

he calls the cop and like a coward runs.

This is the man who runs his mouth,

but avoids court-ordered drug tests to buy him a month.

Mommy sold him for a pill.

Daddy went down the druggy trail.

His birth was a curse,

a bane left to someone responsible.

She was sweet — but misguided and allowed him to run rampant.

And now he’s trying to raise my child with the same discord.

He doesn’t understand that I am not afraid of him.

I used to be, but no more.

That little boy who SCREAMS and throws tantrums like a CHILD.

He demands to be treated: “with the respect he deserves.”

He doesn’t understand — he’s already receiving that.

Men who hit old women who raise them — do not deserve respect.

For he is not a man.

Men who beat their girlfriends up in front of children — do not deserve respect.

Because he is not a man —

but a monster.

A man who lets my child come home bruised and traumatized-

a man with poison running through his veins-

a man who allows his demons to control him with no sign of therapy in sight…

You are not a man.

You are less than a boy.

You are NOTHING.

And until you become something -

You will get NOTHING from me.

Not respect.

Not civility.

Not a single break.

Not a single rest.

I am the wolf in the forest who will tear you to pieces.

I am the wolf who is no longer afraid.

I am the wolf who is hunting you.

And you are so arrogant that you think you’re on my tail.

But you’re so stupid that I laugh at you.

Because you’ve chosen a legal fight with someone smarter than you.

I laugh because the grave you’re in you’ve dug on your own.

And I will use everything you have given me of your accord…

And I will take it and I will ruin you.

Until my child is safe — you will suffer.

Because you are NOTHING.

And you will always be… NOTHING.

Because that is what you deserve.

And that is what you earn.

Nothing.

Nothing but hate.

Nothing but ire.

Nothing but my disgust.

I’ll spit at your feet — unless you’re on fire.

If God gave me the chance to see you burn -

I would see you burn into your natural state…

I would watch you ash away into NOTHING.

And if you manage to get your girlfriend to read this poem…

I hope you both understand you’re on a hard road.

Because you are a fool,

and I am a rabid beast.

And when I claim my inevitable victory -

You will be nursing your wounded pride…

realizing you thought wrong.

You thought you were big, and bad, and scary, and mad.

But at the end of the day… I know that YOU know what you really are.

And you.. my dear…

You are NOTHING.

:)

(Wow. I feel better now. Gosh, it’s crazy what some honest words can do for a writer. I know there is no structure to this poem. This was literally a negativity dump one to help me through the storm in me I can't get to subside.)