Tomatoes, how deeply I despise thee
Not a most controversial hatred...
Dear Tomatoes,
You are disgusting.
You are only a four point three on the pH scale?
You taste like a negative four point three!!
And people eat- and enjoy you?
Your leaves are toxic... Yet the fruit is edible?
How does that make any sense? I don't get how I'm supposed to trust you... you're a fruit, but you're not remotely delicious. You're bitter. Disgusting.
A tomato on my burger ruins my day.
They say, "Take it off!!"
Yet you've already tainted it with your unpleasant fluids.
Not juice. Whatever liquid it is you excrete is not deserving of that title.
You water down the ketchup.
You make the bun detestably soggy.
And can I even speak of the reprehensible deeds you committed with the mustard?
BLT? Nah, I'll stick with a good ol' BL.
Why?
You're nasty!!
Yet somehow you find your way into the innocent hearts of the masses. Somehow you are a staple on a burger, and yet I can only stand you in a soup when you've been boiled and tortured into perfection.
You're too squishy to bear, and you make a huge mess. And must I speak again about your taste? No. It brings me too much pain to talk of it again.
I shall leave it at that. You are a despicable creation, and I wish you extinction.
Love,
CL
About the Creator
Cezanne Libellen
I am an ailurophile, xocolatophile, linguaphile, lexophile, and a bibliophile. Writing is my passion. I am currently working on a novel. Subscribe and share my stories if you want to see more of my work!
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Comments (11)
Ketchup and spaghetti sauce I like I'll dodge and weave avoiding tomatoes.
That don't agree with you at all but this was a fun read! Thank you for taking part in this wonderfully silly challenge!
Cezanne.... I could not have said this better myself!!! I hate tomates, I love them in sauces and things where I can't taste their tomato-y awfulness! I delight when I get a tomato on my burger and I get to throw its disgusting carcass out!!! The juices always upset me because I know that's the dar thing fighting back... those awful tomatoes always seem to win... 🥴
Baby tomatoes I love the taste in my mouth. I eat it because it is healthy but eh, I can take it or leave it. Hi Cezanne.
Funny! Even though the ripe tomato is one of my favs!
Lol. This is great. However, it's the first one I've seen that I have to disagree with. Love tomatoes.
This was great, even though I love tomatoes. 😌
Cute 😊 Mmmmmm mmm. I like Thick slices of a vine ripened Tomato, mayonnaise, salt and pepper between two slices of Sourdough bread!! Yum!
Lol, this was very relatable as I'm not a fan of tomatoes either 🤣🤣🤣
Great, fun little poem
“Unpleasant fluids” ewwwww 🤣🤣🤣. Love it!! It took me decades but I can now eat and enjoy tomatoes in specific things… but I still have a HUGE aversion to cherry tomatoes (and all other foods that look like eyeballs and have a similar eyebally texture hahah)