I'm pretty sure I caught the tail end of your perfume
Even though only loneliness exists in this room
Even though I haven't caught a glimpse of you
In a long time
I could have sworn I felt your touch just once
Yes,
I could have sworn it was you
It's a touch you don't reserve for just anyone
I'll lay here thinking that you're mine
I'm pretty sure I caught the tail end of your perfume
Even though only loneliness exists in this room
Even though I haven't caught a glimpse of you
In a long time
Such a long time...
About the Creator
Frankie Martinelli
Musician.
All work is copyrighted, and is my own.
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Two years ago on this date, I downloaded the Duolingo app for approximately the 15th time. When I’d been inspired to try brushing up on my Spanish in the past, I’d start out hot and heavy only to sputter out after a few weeks of enthusiasm and dedication.
By Veronica Wren4 days ago in Longevity
Comments (4)
Oh, the longing is palpable here ❤️
Heartwrenching!!! 💕♥️♥️
The yearning here was soooo intense! Such a poignant poem! I loved it!!
I think this is a great image to work with. Overall this is a strong piece. FWIW, I feel it would benefit from less spelling it out. EG: Even though only loneliness exists in this room. Can you show that vs. telling me that? What makes a room lonely? Describe it in a 10 word sentence that shows me an image and I can immediately say: That feels lonely. This is really strong: "I'm pretty sure I caught the tail end of your perfume " It gives me a great visual and makes me want to follow the narrative instantly. I'm jealous of it. But for me, the rest becomes more telling and loses a bit of that zeal. This is just my POV for please take that as it is.