Lifes storm

It rages and swirls It’s never relenting

Never ceasing its battering waves

Eroding your edges night and day

The storm clouds writhe

Intensity rises, boiling and bubbling, sucking out all light

Freezing shut, your lungs and ability to see

Shades of dark all around never allowing the light to ground

The sun shines outside and the bird song continues

Yet the inner storm is a raging foaming beast

A terror thing, never allowing a moment's peace

A horror so enormous your lost within

Squeezing and hiding you pushing into the deepest darks of the fear

The ground a thing felt under your feet

Yet not felt for the unseen storms raging breath

A feeling so intense, you cannot breathe

Stop!

Cease

Calm

So I may breathe and feel a seed of worthwhile

But it doesn’t stop

It never stops, it batters on

Like the white squall storms

For days and nights, the feelings run

Fear and unworthiness, the drivers this time

Hate and the pain for a thing said that can’t be undone

A constant feeling of causing others pain,

A constant reminder again and again.

I said a thing

I created this pain; I am no good

I am no name

I am shame and doubt

Filled with despair

Lashed with anxiety

I do not belong here; I do not belong, a waste of space that all went wrong

The feelings ebb a small slip but intensity rises

There it is, a glitch

What is it I feel I don’t know I can’t feel

I don’t know after so long how to feel

Numbness drives me

There is no feeling it is real

The storm is battering me at every breath

Growing and boiling a writhing mess

Let me breathe, please let me breathe

Let me see as clearly as need be

Let the comfort of reality come back to me.

Let me feel

Let me be free.