Harlequinade

Dear Sweet Looney Partner,

With Halloween around the corner, you would expect a spooky story from me. Let me surprise you with a funny story instead!

Heads up, please don’t read this while drinking anything. I’m not responsible if you shoot fluid out of your nose or mouth.

Let me take you back to when I was four years old. My parents brought me to the airport because someone was going somewhere or maybe someone was arriving from somewhere. Don’t know, don’t care.

My parents were busy talking to the other adults, whoever they were. I was left unsupervised but I was too afraid to leave my parents’ side, so I let my eyes wander.

They wandered far and wide until they landed on a very cute boy. He seemed to be around my age.

He held a packet of potato chips in his hand. I was mesmerized watching him stylishly bring one chip after another to his mouth with his other hand.

I surveyed the adults around him. They too were engaged in conversation. All I needed to know was that he was unsupervised as well. I gave my parents one last look before leaving their side.

I was careful not to make any sudden movement to prevent the boy from getting scared of me and I didn’t want my parents to know that I was sneaking away.

Finally, I was right in front of him. He stopped eating and smiled at me. I smiled back at him. My smile then evolved into a grin and he followed suit.

I slowly brought my right hand to his left cheek and caressed it. He just stood there rigid and wide-eyed, confused at what was going on.

I caressed his cheek a little while longer. I kept watching his eyes, bidding my time and it finally came when he closed his eyes a little too long before opening them up again.

SMACK!

That fool almost fell as an aftermath of my slap. I then pried the packet of potato chips out of his hands and bolted.

I had a head start because it took him a few seconds to realize what had happened before he started chasing me while crying loudly.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, what a loser!

His howls alerted all the adults around us because this boy was LOUD! See, this was the flaw in my plan. My undoing. I should have threatened him to keep quiet or lured him somewhere isolated.

But I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I was just four and didn’t have much experience in scheming.

Oh yes, back to the story. His parents were chasing him and mine were chasing me in the middle of a busy airport. Finally, my parents caught me and snatched the potato chips out of my hands.

The boy’s parents were trying to calm him down but to no avail. He only stopped when he got back his potato chips.

My parents then apologized to him and his parents and made me do it too. I know, the audacity!

Now you’re probably wondering what happened to me after that. Nothing much at the airport but after we got back home, I got spanked so hard!

No worries, it didn’t stop me from committing other mischievous deeds but that’s a story for another letter. I know you’ve been going through a tough time and I hope my story made you smile.

Sincerely,

The-Boy-Slapping-and-Potato-Chip-Stealing Thief

~~~~~

Author’s Notes:

Yes, this was based on true events! 🤣 This was written for Heather Hubler’s Write Me A Letter Challenge. Surprisingly, as per the rules, I actually used all 26 letters of the alphabet!

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