Carry On S1 E2 • “Hysterical”

FADE IN: LIGHTS EMIT FROM OVERHEAD CEILING FAN

INT. MAJOR FINNEY SIGNS A DOCUMENT

As the major signs the papers, BARTHOLOMEW walks into the office.

BARTHOLOMEW:

Hey, sir. I just wanted to–

FINNEY:

Not now, Staff Sergeant. I’ve got a ton of paperwork and––

SUCHIN [enters, interrupts]:

You’ve got nothing.

BARTHOLOMEW [his voice sharp]:

Good evening, ma’am.

SUCHIN [shoots a glance at the staff sergeant]

Carry on, Bartholomew.

BARTHOLOMEW

Aye, ma’am. [he turns and leaves]

FINNEY

The way you two carry on is something else.

SUCHIN

He Just wants me because he wants me to be a second lieutenant. Then, he can become a mustang and switch over to the O side. Either way, someone’s going to get busted down and someone’s going to be promoted. Such is the Corps. What are you working on, anyway?

FINNEY

I’ve got to sign off on the correspondence for the families of the fallen. Not exactly the office romance that seems to be brewing here, but I’m making the most of it.

SUCHIN [quietly]

It takes time. SO clichéd. Yet so true. Guess that’s why it’s a cliché.

FINNEY [he looks up at her and gives a sign saying ‘do you mind?’]

Is there anything else, Suchin?

SUCHIN

No, no. I know you’ve got work. I’ve got work. All God’s chilr’n got work. But I did want to ask you something.

FINNEY

What is it?

SUCHIN

How do you do it?

FINNEY

Do what?

SUCHIN

You’ve got the career, the wife, the home, the kids. How do you do it?

FINNEY

I’ve been through it all. Two tours. Getting blown up. Some shrapnel in my knees. My wife is threatening to leave. My kids say they’re going into the Space Force out of spite. And I’m barely making payments on the house. How am I doing?

SUCHIN

Goddamn. And I thought I had it bad.

Then, BARTHOLOMEW barges in the office.

BARTHOLOMEW

Ma’am, sir, there’s a family out here going hysterical!

The officers and staff non-commissioned officer all run to see what the matter is. Outside, they hear screams. SUCHIN approaches a family. It looks like a mother and father and two younger siblings of the fallen.

SUCHIN

We’re going to take good care of [she looks at FINNEY’S mouth]

Samantha. Everything will be better if we go inside now.

The family and the Marines in their care go to the chapel. FINNEY directs BARTHOLOMEW to issue tissues and water to the grieving family. This is where FINNEY shines.

FINNEY

In these moments, we have to realize that your daughter gave everything so that you can get the only thing that matters…love.

SUCHIN turns her back and makes a gagging motion towards the ground.

FINNEY

Now is the time for you all to better understand how Samantha did not make the ultimate sacrifice.

The father BOZEMAN steps to FINNEY.

BOZEMAN

What did you say?

FINNEY stands tall. His back is a skyscraper, his face a gravestone.

I know you’ve heard different, but the Corps, all of the branches have done away with the ideas of selflessness, sacrifice, and unselfishness being moral virtues.

BOZEMAN [ire rising in his voice]

I served. Did my time. My wife did. Samantha….We all know that she gave her life for this country and it was her duty to do so.

FINNEY

I will not argue with you, sir. I’m only outlining what the current course for the United States military is taking. We’re about reason and selfishness. This is a totally different day from probably when you and I both started amongst the ranks. This is an extremely difficult time for you and your family. I want this process to go as smoothly as possible for you.

BOZEMAN shot an acidic glance at FINNEY, sizing him up. He turns to his wife. He holds her shoulder and brings his young children around to the vestibule of the chapel. Two Air Force technical sergeants usher the family into another building. BARTHOLOMEW finds more tissues and hands them as many boxes as he can. SUCHIN goes to the vape station. FINNEY follows. He doesn’t show signs that he will vaporize, however.

SUCHIN

Goddamn shame.

FINNEY

It never gets easier.

SUCHIN [lets out vapor and then laughs]

I’m talking about you, dumb dumb. You’re trying to explain the new code to a hard driving veteran with his wife who is also a veteran who as you said came in when we first came into the Corps. It’s on you to just back up and breathe, bud.

FINNEY

Give me that vape stick.

FADE OUT