Potential

This has become a reoccurring behavior, staying up late at night, thinking about someone that might never look my way. But Daniel Achebe was it all, everything I wanted. 99% of us girls in SS2B had a crush on him and I was the least of them all if we were to be rated. Everytime I thought of him a smile unzipped on my face, stretching from cheek to cheek, I wouldn’t even be able to shake off the burning sensation on my face. The feeling is so incredible, I could literally feel electric surges in my vein, my stomach tightening to knots, incredible, just incredible.

I just can’t wait to be in school tomorrow, just to be able to praise God again for his ability to create a human with such an angelic looking face. But come to think of everything that has to go down as time needs to pass between now and tomorrow. For starters I need to get myself to sleep, I need to wake up by 5am at the dot so mommy doesn’t have to come into my room with a cup of cold water (I don’t have strength to take my bed outside today biko), we’d have to pray then I and humble will start preparing for school while mommy prepares breakfast I don’t even know why we have to eat breakfast I personally think it is just a waste of time, at least of my time, I just wish we could be skipping that part so I would always be In school earlier. There was this one time We got to school by 7 o’clock, that was when I realized that Daniel was always the first person to come to school as his mother had to meet up before 8 at her workplace everyday.That day started off perfect at first until Stella reared her ugly head just 15minutes before assembly and Daniel shifted the attention I waited 43 minutes for towards her self. He was finally asking if I had an eraser, it was the start of a beautiful conversation before she appeared out of nowhere snd he started talking to her. That doesn’t still change the fact that it was one of the best moments of my entire life. Back to school though,The 8am to 4pm given to us in school just doesn’t do. After breakfast mom will then start hurrying us but trust me she doesn’t need to hurry me, I am in a much more bigger hurry than she always is.

Well these are processes I have to go through everyday and I know today won’t be an exception no matter how intense my Daniel preoccupied imaginations have become.

As every day passes I become more aware of my addiction and obsession with Daniel. Sometimes it’s sickening especially with the fact that every bit of awareness is accompanied with the realization that this may never be.

Maybe in another life where I am more confident, where I don’t wear braces to help reorganize my disarranged teeth,where I have a mom that lets me wear make up like Stella,where my uniform is a little bit shorter Than it is right now...okay way shorter but maybe then Daniel would be able to look my way and call me beautiful.

I don’t get called beautiful a lot. I’ve heard some girls in my class talk about guys cat calling them and people whispering that they are beautiful when they pass but that has never been me. Apart from my dad when he was alive,my mom when I am in my Sunday dress oooh and my lovely cousin Anne ooh how I’ve missed her. She always tell me “look at your self in the mirror Mirabel! You are an epitome of beauty own it!!”. Whenever she does this it seems impossible for me not to see that there is a truth in her words. I do love some of my features for example my eyes, they’ve got this sparkle to them. And my lips well shaped, looks very soft and pink and delicate. I also speak very well and fluently and with an accent that makes me sound like an American teenager but I only talk around people I feel comfortable with so not everyone gets to see the beauty in the way I talk. Yes I know these things but knowing them for myself doesn’t really matter to me as they don’t give me the attention Stella has.I sometimes wish my features were a little bit more like her own, with her thin soft looking lips and cat eyes with her beautiful long lashes that she does not miss elevating by adding mascara giving them a darker look. Her nose is way Pointier and slimmer than mine and she has a lighter complexion while I am of a darker shade.

How much I loathe my skin color more so after I over heard the gossip trio who usually sit right in front of me in class saying they heard Daniel with the guys saying they love fair skinned girls. Nothing hurt me more than that on that day. I cried myself to sleep asking God why he did not just make me fair.

I’d sleep now though, rest my mind from these worries so I can wake up hale and hearty go see Daniel, My one true love.