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We Bought a Bigger RV for Our Old Age Stuff

by Brenda Mahler about a year ago in humor · updated 4 months ago
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Medicine, supplies, equipment, and gummies

We Bought a Bigger RV for Our Old Age Stuff
Photo by Julia Zyablova on Unsplash

We started out with a 22-foot travel trailer and loved it. As we spent more and more time on the road, we discovered space was a hot commodity because stuff accumulated. I know stuff is a generic word, but there is not one simple category everything fits into.

My husband and I are in pretty good shape but with age, the needed paraphilia multiplied. His hearing aids with accessories litter the area. Glasses, 2 prescription pairs, Dollar Store reading glasses, and 2 pairs of sunglasses, clutter space. Aches and pains require a heating pad, medicated lotions to relax tense muscles, and a massager to keep us moving. My broken body thermostat demands multiple layers of clothing lay within reach to address the rotating chills and hot flashes.

Now, one cupboard is dedicated to the medical supplies that might be necessary at any giving moment. Our thin skin necessitates Band-Aids of multiple sizes and bandages to hold us together when we fall from losing our balance. We pack his back brace, my knee brace and wraps for whatever body parts need support. A blood pressure kit rests on the back shelf for monitoring purposes.

Overtime the prescriptions grew as did the pill box. But it is the over-the-counter supplements that take up precious space. A cupboard designated to these became a requirement once I discovered most everything comes in gummy form; they are bigger. I love gummies, those colorful chewy treats that hold their flavor until they disappear in my mouth leaving a tantalizing, sticky sweetness on my tongue.

My first exposure came when I got a cold and needed relief. To shorten the lifespan of the illness, I savored two Airborne and allowed the childhood memories to flood my body. It was almost worth a sore throat.

When I thought about it, maybe I should consider a multivitamin. But why would I take one multivitamin when I could take several gummies to meet my needs? This seemed like a win-win. I reinforced my body with all the needed nutrients while rewarding my taste buds.

  • Vitamin D gummies to strengthen bones. I can use that.
  • Calcium gummies, enable the blood to clot, muscles to contract, and the heart to beat. The heart part sounds pretty important.
  • Iron carries oxygen from our lungs throughout our bodies. Oxygen? Need that.
  • Cranberries, for urinary tract health. Unfortunately, yes.
  • Plant based Omega-3. supports heart, brain, and joint health. Maybe I could bend down again.
  • Vitamin C, vital for the body’s healing processes. Definitely a must.

Media and morning talk shows pointed out the importance of supplements to support an aging body.

• Fiber gummies: daily probiotic. For when things got hard.

• Hair, skin, and nails gummies to provide a youthful shine.

• Memory and focus gummies for old-timers. Did you know with age . . .I forgot what I was going to write here.

Each morning I would consume gummies with my coffee. Before long, I didn’t eat breakfast because the smorgasbord of gummies satisfied my hunger. The space once dedicated to cereal held gummies.

I have stockpiled a supply for conditions that might arise periodically.

• Heartburn relief. Yes, in gummy formula.

• Laxative gummies. For the hardest days.

• Restful sleep melatonin gummies

The fountain of youth lays at my fingertips in my motorhome. How can anyone grow old with an excessive amount of gelatin and sugar in their bodies!? The FoodsGuy even said gummies can practically last forever. Realistically, they will probably never go bad. If the product lasts forever, then it should produce an everlasting effect on my body.

Recently, my husband and I started golfing together. I play 9 holes because I get tired, but after stumbling upon this ad, I expect unlimited possibilities.

"Golf Gummies are here to give you an edge over your biggest competitor, yourself! We don’t always have the luxury of a meditation session, yoga stretches, plus a full putter-to-driver routine before a round. Let’s be honest, most of the time we find ourselves jamming our feet into our spikes in the parking lot with only enough time to chunk a couple practice swings before we tee off. Golf Gummies can’t help you with time management, but we can help you “stay in control for 18 holes."

Caution, consuming gummies may promote weight gain

Recently, I used mental math to calculate the calories potential of eating gummies. A process that is easier since I started taking my focus gummies.

Potentially, I could consume 400 calories a day through gummies. No wonder, Americans display bigger bellies, rounder rumps, and hippo hips. No wonder, I carry a few more pounds now than before retirement. After weighing the pros and cons, my gummy regiment will continue. Just to be on the safe side, to accommodate our medical needs and growing girth, we recently upgraded to a 40-foot Monaco, Diplomat RV.

Please ride with us as we travel and share our experiences. Guaranteed there is never a boring moment.

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humor

About the author

Brenda Mahler

Stories about life that inspire emotions - mostly humor.

Lessons about writing based on my textbook, Strategies for Teaching Writing.

Poetry and essays about the of art of being human.

I write therefore, I am.

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