Climbing My Mountain

The world flies by in a myriad of beautiful colors. The cool blue and green hues of nature’s rich palette blend with the stream of gray asphalt blurring beneath me as it streaks in the wake of my car, a veiled representation of everything I’m leaving behind. As I climb into the mountains, heading west, the landscape grows more and more complex. The twists and turns of the mountain highways add another level of excitement to what is already the most monumental road trip I have ever been on.

My heart soars as high as the mountain peaks as I look around and think about where I’m going… What I’ve done… What I’m leaving… For the first time in my life, I feel a certain freedom I had never quite imagined. And it is equal parts exciting and terrifying.

I have no designated place where I need to be.

I have no assigned location where I am going.

I have no one to report to.

I am free.

My entire adult life up till this moment had been dedicated to the United States Navy. I always had an assigned place. I belonged somewhere. There was always a long list of assigned responsibilities. I reported to my leadership. I had to be where I was supposed to be when I was supposed to be there. Any free moments of leave and liberty were still carefully tracked and monitored after being approved by those appointed over me.

I was also always taken care of. The other people at my place of employment were not coworkers… they were my family, ones with whom I could trust my life. I never had to wonder where to go if I was sick or hurt. I always had a home, a place to call my own. Even when it was just a Navy-issued rack. I had a purpose… serving as part of something much bigger than myself.

Now I am alone.

I have no one to take care of me.

I have no special purpose.

I have no home.

The gravity of life presses down on me as I ease off the gas and carefully take another tight curve on the mountain highway. The edge of the road is also the edge of the mountain, with a cascading slope that disappears into the world below… a world that appears as small and insignificant as I feel right now.

I have no regrets. For more than nine years, I was part of something special. For more than nine years, I was part of an organization that helped me grow into the person I am now… that helped me gain a diverse understanding of the world I live in. These experiences were invaluable and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

I have no regrets. I have taken what I’ve learned along with my developed understanding of the world and jumped off a cliff, not knowing what lies below. That leap of faith is intoxicating, the exhilaration has my heart pounding a million beats per minute.

Deciding to leave the Navy was the most difficult choice I’ve ever made. Now as I soar west through the beautiful world surrounding me, I know it was the right move for me. The promise of the unknown is freeing.

The road behind me is full countless character-building experiences and memories.

But the road ahead of me is full of freedom and endless potential.

I am strong, independent and free. Never before have I felt it quite as much as I do now as my racing heart beats in time with the whirring tires spinning beneath me, carrying forward to the greatness I know lies ahead.