"It's not easy!" - Nigerian Women Discuss 5 Real Problems That Come With Being Beautiful.
It's really not easy!
It's really not easy!
Since I can remember, being beautiful has always been one of the highest compliments people ever received. Especially for women, there was and is still a huge amount of societal pressure to be "pretty". There are literal contests held to crown the most beautiful out of a set of women. To be beautiful is the wish of so many people all over the world and people are doing any and everything these days to be beautiful.
So then, what are the 5 women in today's article talking about? Right? How can they have anything bad to say about being beautiful.
Well, that's exactly the question I had when I read the first tweet by the first woman. When she talked about the drawback she had experienced for being beautiful, it made me want to know more. It made me go out and find what other Nigerian beautiful women who've had their own negative experiences with being pretty had to say. After searching up and down, I am more than happy to bring to you 5 Nigerian Women's Takes on The Downside of Being Beautiful.
Are you ready to jump into this list? Then let's go!
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1. Everybody Thinks You're Taken.
One reason a woman on Twitter by the username @NotACoquette gave is that
Being beautiful is lovely until everyone assumes you have a man in your life.
This same sentiment was shared by a number of other women on Twitter as well. There is a feeling that most beautiful people have already been scooped up when the reality of it is that that is a lot of times, not the case.
2. Others Will Despise You
One woman on Twitter said:
One of the things about being beautiful is that OTHER WOMEN will absolutely despise you.
This same sentiment was actually talked about in a New York Times article once and the reality of this is quite sad but then again, jealousy is a very natural human emotion. We all just need to learn to curb it better and not take it out on others.
3. People Think You're Dumb.
A girl on Twitter once asked the question of why people weren't taking her seriously attached with a picture of herself to which somebody else responded:
It’s because u look too beautiful. In most cases, people think beautiful girls are always dumb.
This sentiment is one that has been around for a very long time. It's also the reason why popular Big Brother Naija star, Nengi has said that she prefers to be called smart than 'pretty'.
4. You're Oversexualized
Nigerian singer Simi actually addressed this in a recent interview after the whole Samklef situation.
In case you don't know what happened, the quick summary of that was Samklef made some inappropriate comments about another singer Tems to which Simi responded.
In a later interview with NotJustOk, she talked about how often women are overly sexualized because that's what people believe sells for women. Speaking about being women in the work force, Simi said:
Sometimes you’re trying to get your break and you have the talent, but the person you’re working with wants to sleep with you first or get a sexual favour. Or when you say you want to do music, they tell you if you don’t open your breast or yansh, it cannot work. And it’s one thing for people to criticise you or try to stop you or be in your way because you’re not good enough as a musician, or songwriter than for people to be a problem because you have the features of a woman or are a woman and they want to use that to somehow manipulate your process, it’s really sad
In addition to this, there were also so many stories shared of women who felt like because they were beautiful, they had harder times being taken seriously at work or getting certain jobs because of over-sexualization. It is really sad.
5. Beauty Fades
Finally, the thing about being beautiful is that looks change and beauty changes or as some people like to say, "beauty fades". This is a lesson media personality Bolanle Olukanni learnt very pretty early in her life.
With an increasingly growing obsession on physical looks, its easy to get sucked in and completely depend on your physical looks for self validation. I told someone a story yesterday- When I was really young -like 5 years old... I was the cutest thing. Lol yup. Everyone told me. It was my identity -even as a 5 year old. I knew it . Carried it on my head. So I got to 7 and of course I wasn’t a cute like a baby. I remember thinking why don’t people tell me I am cute anymore??!!!!
I was so bothered and upset by it. Thankfully my parents noticed and I had older sisters who really had a lot more going for them asides from physical validation. I began to become more rounded as a person and I was able to grow into my teenage years not overly obsessed about my looks. My self- confidence also came from knowing who I am as a Child of the Most high. Ultimately this is where that confidence comes from.
In a world that places so much emphasis on beauty, I agree with what Bolanle is saying. One has to look beyond looks and find more to validate them selves with because truly as time goes by and things change, so do our looks.
I hope you enjoyed this discourse on beauty. Don’t forget to like my page if you don’t already for more stories like this, the fun never ends!
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Until next time, have a wonderful rest of your day.
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