Girly =/= Stupid

Girly does not equal Stupid.

Girly =/= Stupid
Photo by Katarzyna Grabowska on Unsplash

If a teenage girl would enjoy it, it must be shallow, stupid and bad. That’s what everyone is supposed to believe right? I am even guilty of this myself, when I tell a male to watch a “girly” show I’ll say, “I know it seems girly but it’s actually good”. Yeah, just think about that statement for a moment, read it again and really think about it. How horrible is that?

When and where did everyone get this idea that something that is “girly” is automatically bad? We all know this is a thing. Look at Justin Bieber, I don’t personally enjoy most of his music, but I can’t deny that he is talented (and neither can you). The guy started playing drums at age 2 and plays several instruments now, very competently I might add. His voice isn’t bad. So, what is the problem? And sure, like I said I don’t like that kind of music from his younger days but that doesn’t mean it’s okay or fair to say he’s not a “real” musician or that he has no talent. And what are the insults usually? He’s secretly a girl, he’s gay, etc. Man, even SNL makes fun of this aspect of him. Justin is a little feminine, but so what? And I know some people have legit things to dislike him for based on his behavior and that’s okay, this isn’t about just him, this isn’t me just defending him, I don’t even personally like him. It’s just the “type” and he’s the perfect example because of how many instruments he plays. It applied to the Backstreet Boys, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Prince, George Michael and the Beatles in their day. And yes, all those people and bands (some more than others) were considered too feminine by “masculinity so fragile” type of guys. Those are just a few of the examples. And those are just the male artists. Female artists have a lot harder time with getting people to take them seriously. Why?

No, seriously… why?

Once I was chatting with a guy about music and he wasn’t even one of the types of guys who usually do this and it certainly wasn’t on purpose, even genuinely nice people have this soaked into their brains without knowing it. I mentioned Shannon Hoon (former and passed away lead singer of Blind Melon), just chatting about how amazing his voice was. And the guy was so surprised (happily) that I knew who Shannon was, which I am too usually, because he didn’t get the recognition of Kurt Cobain or some others and I get that, but the guy actually said he was shocked because I was a girl and I knew who Shannon was… why? Was Shannon invisible to female people? Did he hide when women walked into the room. No disrespect to Shannon by making jokes but I think he would understand my point. As with most of the more sensitive musicians, he would probably be on my side on this.

And another thing that bothers me is that once the more masculine seeming musicians say they were influenced by like the beetles for example, suddenly the beetles are the coolest most masculine band. Or at least acceptable. And then these types of guys will act like girls can’t really like the beetles because the beetles are real musicians. But it’s a very well-known fact that the beetles were the Justin Bieber of their day. “Bieber Fever” is just a newer version of “British Invasion”. Teen girls liked them first and now they are called liars or posers if they claim to like them. I went through it personally with Soundgarden, guys would say they weren’t “hard” enough. Now I get accused of not really liking them because I have vagina like that has something to do with the way I hear music. I don’t need to know Chris Cornell’s life story to like his music (even though I do, and I’m not proving that because I don’t need to). Women don’t need to be quizzed every time we say that we like something.

And it doesn’t just apply to music, or even just entertainment, it is literally everything.

No people can’t go around saying woman are bad and that men are good, I mean some do but they look like @ssholes.

But society can get people to associate certain things with femininity and other things with masculinity and then label the “things” as bad or good, guess which way that goes most often.

“Women be shopping” it’s a stupid waste of time… but fishing is a sacred and beautiful thing to share with other males, to bond.

Really? I mean talk bad about something masculine like hunting or fishing… and not only will men get mad but so will a lot of women. Then make fun of a “feminine” activity and see how many people regardless of gender defend it. I mean we even see memes about women being “cool” if she likes to hunt or fish, which if that’s what you enjoy *killing for fun* then go for it but don’t tell me that someone who enjoys that is somehow superior to someone who likes to play with kittens, because which one is being kind to animals? And that is definitely something you can judge people by… psychologically.

(And yea come at me fans of hunting, I’m an animal lover) But seriously I’m not 100% against either of those things but it’s just so obvious to me when people say these things that I don’t know how other people don’t see it.

And I could list so many movies and tv shows that are legitimately good but will NEVER be taken seriously (even by most girls) because they are “girly”.

Pretty Little Liars, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23, The unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and the list goes on.

And maybe everyone would like ALL of these, I’m not even saying you have to like any of them but most people, even people who watch them and like them don’t take them seriously, not as seriously as say “Fight Club” or “Game of Thrones” and sometimes I feel like “gritty” is just another word for “No homo”. I mean I like gritty, actually I love it… but something being less girly or bubbly or colorful doesn’t make it better or smarter. Anyone who thinks something being for “dudes” makes it a better movie hasn’t seen “Cable Guy”. Or any Adam Sandler movie. I mean do you really think… well any Adam Sandler movie is as clever or funny as literally anything written by Tina Fey?

Are fart jokes and actors laughing obnoxiously in the movie cleverer than lines like “what are marijuana tablets?” or anything Titus has said? When Chloe (the B*tch in apartment 23) gave Brenda that smackwhich (her face is the lunch meat, my hands are the bread) do you really think that moment was not as good as adam sandler doing baby voice for the 2933248th time? Sorry I’m picking on Adam, but I just really don’t like his movies (except airheads). And the hours upon hours I could spend bashing family guy, I’m not even gonna start.

And no some of these movies “for dudes” aren’t considered hyper-masculine, they are considered normal… and that is the problem. If a thing has a female lead or is colorful aesthetically, it is automatically considered “girly”. There is normal and girly… when really there should be no gender to it. Movies can’t be female or male. Music, art, TV should all just be considered by it’s genre based on story line, not if your overly insecure bros will make fun of you for liking it. I shouldn’t have to talk people into watching something “for girls” just to have them say it’s “actually pretty good” and then have to hear about how Fight Club was the most wonderful movie ever from people who completely and 100% didn’t understand Fight Club to begin with (if you like tyler or ever thought he was cool I mean you).

And no one should be made fun of for liking something, sports don’t have a gender, lets start with not letting people give inanimate objects and activities genders to begin with because that’s just flat out ridiculous in the first place. And we really, really, really need to stop associating feminine with bad… you might say “weak” or “fragile” or a less mean sounding word but it all means bad and it applies to women and men. A man being “feminine” aka sensitive or thin or whatever thing makes you want to judge him like girls liking him more than you even if he sings sweet songs about love or some girl named nicki doing things with a magazine that I WILL NOT repeat. If you think something or someone being “feminine” means it or they are “less than” in any way, I don’t have to ask what you think about females.

gender roles
Raine fielder
Raine fielder
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Raine fielder

Raine has been writing poetry since she was in seventh grade. She has written several poems, song lyrics, short stories and three books. Writing has been her passion for her whole life. She lives in a tiny house with her dog, Nygma.

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