Love + Relationships

Checking my spam folder + Getting another one of those “Send the Extra Money to My Shipper” email + A little extra time on my hands =

Standing in front of the door, before heading inside for the night as the still air blows with a gentle breeze rustling the trees. No noise is heard as the street below is bare. The only source of light is the full moon staring back at you as you stand with one hand in your pocket and the other gripping your keys as if they are your safety line to life. Suddenly a thought, a memory to be more specific pops into your head and you can smell the distinct scent of vanilla and lavender. Your mouth tastes of peppermint. And your eyes blink back tears as the song that you listened to on repeat comes flooding back lyric after lyric. Humming along you stare at the moon in a heated stare down. Willing yourself not to blink you stand there. Goosebumps rise on your skin as the temperatures drop. Lights fill the blacktop street as a car passes by.

September 9, 2007 First Meeting “Hart” @ Humboldt Park Chicago, IL My Age: 28; birthday February 15th; 1st relationship. Ever.

He rolled over awakening from a nightmare only to see her curled up next to him. Y/n still looked pretty banged up from the mission, her lip was busted, her pretty face was bruised. She pulled him close to her in her sleep. His breath hitched in his throat at the small affectionate gesture. She burrowed her face into him holding on tightly.

“You have no right to ask me that.” A man of few words, he tipped his head back, placing the empty glass on the bar devoid of brown liquid. Danielle noted the casualness in this act and suddenly bitterness became top notes in her sips of Bombay Sapphire. Still not responding to her statement, Benjamin signalled another drink.

I grew up in a house where self-expression was mocked. I grew up hating myself and carrying that trauma through life. I knew from a young age I was different. I was gay, obviously. The signs were there; my obsession with Britney Spears and my love for ‘Charmed’, as well as my hate for contact sports. It was clear from a young age I was a certified homosexual.