Love + Relationships

I hadn’t ever tried anything like it before. Bound only by your command, I laid as still as possible while your hands roamed my body.

I was nervous. Well, I was shitting my pants, to tell you the truth. I had been thinking of a nipple piercing for some time now, but of course, I had done a search on YouTube and seeing the people scream with pain had dissuaded me. Until now. One day, God knows why, you have to have the piercing done, and no one can persuade you otherwise. So, you go and do it.

The panic started as a shiver at the base of her neck. It travelled down her spine like an uncurling snake. The perfume was unmistakable. The citrus sweet smell that had paralysed her 15 years ago. She listened to the voice, yes, it had the same raspy pitch. It was her, the person from Suki’s nightmare. Fifteen years later and she still wore the same awful perfume.

When I am blocked creatively, I often search Google, Pinterest, or Instagram for inspiration and insight into the world around me. This always helps me to get "unstuck" and seems to better inform my writing. Several years ago I stumbled upon the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. Created by John Koenig, the site is dedicated to inventing words (neologisms) to describe the emotions that we all feel but don't have a word in the English language that defines them. Each original word and its definition aims to fill a gap in the English language and although the words are made-up, they are carefully crafted using proper etymology. A self-proclaimed lexophile, I have found DOS to be word porn at its best.

I hated shopping during the holiday season. I tried to avoid the hustle and bustle of people looking for the perfect dinner ideas. I especially hated this holiday season because I would be spending it alone. Looking at all the happy couples flooded my soul with a cocktail of emotions.

You refuse to look ahead. At this point, we are defined by what we are against. If we were in this together, both of us would see the shoreline beyond the rough waters. Andrew, I feel as though you are filled by an empty promise. Our future should not rest in fear. The differences between us could be resolved peacefully, instead of living in an ideal dream. We will pursue positive engagement that builds a new opportunity that you would see. Never let a good thing pass down the road; open up your eyes, and face reality. I do not want to be strung through an unnecessary trudge, I need someone who’s down to earth. Why turn your back on me now? Consequences will come your way, even though I know you can’t stay forever. Right now, being around you does not feel quite right. I do not understand what happened; we used to be tight. The distant presence tears at me each day. I have trouble finding my way. Why hide your feelings, because Andrew, you are needed by my side. Although, I would hate to see you give in due to obligation; this would only lead to frustration. Instead, follow your heart and I promise I will do my part. I am determined, rest assured, and we’ll be able to move past this one step at a time. Please do not live in a lie out of fear because a resolution is coming near.