So, it was my 27th birthday yesterday, and to be honest I was feeling pretty bummed all day with the stresses that come with this crazy adult life. I was worrying about finances with the holidays coming up, I was worrying about my house not being clean enough, and most of all I found myself worrying about the fact that I wasn't excited to be celebrating another year on this earth.
Miscarriage has always been kind of a taboo subject, yet one in four women go through miscarriage or loss of their infant. No one really talks about the pain, grief, guilt, or emptiness you feel, not to mention all the unanswered questions, like why did this happen? Was it my fault? There's the fact that you never got to hold your baby, to know what their life would be like, to even know whether your baby was boy or girl, the names you had picked out for them.
Hairbrushes. They just aren’t something I think about until I’m actually brushing my hair. Am I alone in this? I certainly do not rely on my brush to smooth all the frizz. That heavy duty lifting power belongs to the expensive creams, sprays, and the straightening iron. I don’t replace my hairbrush on a regular, or even yearly, basis (again, just me?). It’s a trusted beauty tool that should detangle my hair and pull it as taught as possible as I blow dry. Its durability is taken for granted until that inevitable day when it breaks! Or in my case, the brush flies off the literal handle and crashes into the bathroom mirror while I’m in the middle of blowdrying my super long, super thick, super curly hair. Suddenly, hairbrushes are all I can think about and an item I have to replace immediately. I cannot go without it. It’s like when your air conditioner goes out in the middle of summer and you live in Texas.
Does art imitate life or life imitate art? As a young minority woman growing up in a time when we are constantly bombarded with corporate advertisements and political campaigns in our media, I find it necessary to express true life in a way that not only educates the masses but informs them as well. My passion is to use film as an art form to express life. By taking the path as a Documentary Filmmaker, I am possibly able to answer this age-old question, while exposing the messages of the people and subjects that are often unheard.
Tuesday July 26, 2016 my life was changed forever. I was officially 39 weeks 3 days and I had an appointment with my doctor around 3:00. I had been hoping and praying that I was further than 1cm dilated and fully effaced like I had been for THE PAST 4 weeks. I was just so ready to meet my son and wanted him to come before his due date. He was due July 31st and his father had 3 weeks paternity leave from his job, but on August 14th he had to go to Nebraska for a week for work.
It all started when I was 16 and I met a boy. He was sweet at first. I met him just after my 16th birthday on a school trip. He was kind enough to give me his sweater when I was cold, even if that meant he was in a t-shirt. He was always like this.