Why I Stopped Wanting to Be President - 2019
Inspired by William S. Burrough's 1975 Why I Stopped Wanting to be President
September 2nd, 2019 - Rapid City, South Dakota
A post inspired by William Burroughs' 1975 article in the Harper's Magazine entitled—When did you stop wanting to be President?
Why I stopped wanting to be president—2019
Or Why I never would run for even Commissioner of Sewer and Waste
I sit here, listening to William S. Burroughs “Why I stopped wanting to be President” from 1975, it has inspired me to think of my own reasons why I too stopped wanting to be president.
I actually have never even thought about pursuing such a lofty goal myself, even for a minute, or even a second.
To be truthful, I have never thought of running for any position in political office, even as sultan of the sanitation department.
I was probably born with this idea of never wanting to be president, but I knew, as soon as I became literate enough, that I didn’t want the position.
Even as a good president, an awesome leader, there will always be those people who think you are a piece of poop.
You can’t call people stupid, worthless, or any other terms deemed offensive by the general public.
Well, you can and your followers, your fans, will state that you’re an individual who doesn’t care what others think, you’re a leader, not a follower.
You make speeches, kiss babies, etc., etc.
Stuff I do not want to do.
I wouldn’t even want to be senator to the great state of Alabama.
I know you can make extra funds in such positions; I’ve seen it done.
In 1996 I made the mistake of accepting a job in a re-election campaign of a senator from my state.
A family friend was the senator’s main office manager in the city where I lived and knew I could use a job.
I was told I’d be running the computers, getting the databases up to snuff, writing letters, etc.
Apparently they paid some company $10,000 to get the database up to date, but I soon discovered that company must have taken the $10,000 and smoked it all up in grass, and then took naps, because when I got suckered into doing telemarketing calls from said database, 90 percent of the people marked as (Democrats) were in fact (Republicans).
This is when I learned a lot of new words in the category of curse words and threats.
One day, my boss (the county district election manager) and I were called to duty in another district, that manager was “sick” and needed help in getting the campaign signs out.
We were supposed to get so many signs out and he was behind.
We discovered why.
The district was heavily Republican (our candidate was Democrat).
As we approached the first house, a woman came out with a shotgun as she had seen our signs in our hand.
“You baby killers get off my property before I shoot you dead!” she growled.
We didn’t even say goodbye, we both turned on our heels and quickly walked away.
This was the year partial birth abortion was a hot topic issue.
Democrats were YAY! on the issue.
Republicans were NAY! on the issue.
Our campaign headquarters was egged, vandalized by “Good Christians” from the local church who then got mad, because after that, we hit their parking lot during church service, sticking our fliers under their windshield wipers.
We didn’t really do it for revenge, but to show them our candidate was the best person for the job.
And not Satan born to kill babies and devour their souls.
They reported us to the state's election board.
"Unethical behavior! Separation of church and state!" they cried, real tears.
The state laughed them out of their offices.
We laughed.
“So why did you egg our offices?” we threw back.
“Free speech!!” they whimpered.
You cannot have your cake and eat it too.
But I digress.
I learned in 1996, that both sides of the political spectrum are cobras, and we, the voters, are merely sheep, innocently following along to slaughter.
My office received donations from organizations we had no idea what their cause was.
But we gladly processed their donations right into the campaign’s account.
“It’s all legit!” the uppers told us. “They’ve been vented, checked out, they’re legit!”
I still to do this day never could find out what the American Society for Hydrogen and Blimp Production was trying to accomplish, but apparently, we the people, are footing the bill to stockpile hydrogen and blimps in case World War I decides to rear its ugly head again.
And they gave my candidate $250.00!
The exact payment for my work (hundreds of hours over two months! I was supposed to get a bonus, but that never happened, I actually had to fight to get my $250 promised from the candidate, and he even won!)
But even before 1996, I knew the only way to win at politics was not to play.
So my fellow citizens, I will not be seeking the office of the presidency, senator to the great state of Alabama, or even dog catcher of Beaver Falls, Wisconsin.
I’m just not right for politics.
I have a soul!
Good night and have a better tomorrow!
About the Creator
Jason Giecek
A poet who cannot rhyme, a dreamer who dreams in reality, realist who gave up realism last week as part of his plea agreement. The courts got nothing!! Nothing!
I'm on Twitter --- https://twitter.com/MisterDonkeyKon FOLLOW ME!
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