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Why Beto O'Rourke Can Beat Ted Cruz in the Texas Senate Race

Nothing But Straight Facts

By CrunchwrapsuprmPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
Ted Cruz (left) and Beto O'Rourke (right)

The 2018 senate race in Texas is starting to get into full swing. Most political experts have declared that the Republican candidate, Ted Cruz, seems like the probable winner. He's an incumbent and a member of the dominant party so to many it appears that he already has the race in the bag. But the Democratic candidate, Beto O'Rourke, is starting to give the accused Zodiac Killer a lot of reason to worry.

Beto is starting to out-raise the Cruz campaign.

In the last quarter, Beto raised $2.4 million to easily top Cruz's $1.9 million. This is an impressive feat for many reasons. First of all the O'Rourke campaign completely avoids taking funds from Political Action Committees (or PACs). Which means that all of the money that his campaign has raised has come straight from individual donations. Meanwhile, the Cruz campaign gets its funds from countless different sources and do we really want to know what those sources are?

Beto O'Rourke doesn't like Twitter porn.

In September of 2017, the official Ted Cruz Twitter account liked a pornographic tweet and in typical Ted Cruz fashion, he blamed the incident on someone else. There really aren't that many people that you could look at and immediately know that they (without a doubt) look at Twitter porn, but Ted Cruz is definitely one of those people. I'm not one to keep score, but Beto's Twitter account has liked exactly ZERO porn tweets. But if it did, Beto would probably take responsibility and admit the truth instead of blaming an intern and firing him.

Beto has never endorsed Donald Trump.

One of the main reasons why Cruz's popularity began to surge during the disastrous 2016 election cycle was because he took such a hard stand against Donald Trump. The two disagreed on almost every important issue, and at one point many predicted Cruz to win the republican nomination. Well, we all know how that story ended (not well for Teddy), Trump went on to win the nomination and Cruz was forced to either stand his ground or break down and join the Trump train. Even though Trump threw hundreds of insults at Cruz and his family, Cruz still endorsed him! But why? Because Cruz lacks any kind of spine, he put (a failing) party before his people and endorsed the single worst Republican candidate of all time: Donald Trump. On the other hand, Beto has NEVER endorsed Donald Trump. In fact, he has consistently been against Donald Trump ever since he announced his candidacy. It may seem like an extraneous fact, but how is Cruz going to stand up for his constituents if he can't even stand up for himself?

Beto's father 100% did not take part in the JFK assassination.

In the heat of the 2016 election cycle, a rumor emerged that Ted Cruz's father had an instrumental part in carrying out the assassination of US president, John F. Kennedy. This rumor surfaced when pictures apparently showing Cruz's father with Lee Harvey Oswald began to make its rounds around the web. I'm not saying that the rumors are true, but I'm also not saying that they aren't true. Nobody has 100% discredited the rumor so there is no way that we can be absolutely certain that Cruz's family didn't kill the most beloved world leader of all time. If the uncertainty bothers you, solace can be found in the fact that Beto O'Rourke's father absolutely, without a doubt, did not kill JFK. Even our super intelligent President whose "IQ is one of the highest" believes the rumors to be true!

Beto definitely is not the Zodiac Killer

Also circulating during the 2016 election was a rumor that Ted Cruz was the notorious Zodiac Killer that is responsible for multiple murders committed in the late 60s. While the timetable doesn't really make sense because Cruz was (allegedly) born in 1970, there is a very real possibility that his birth records were falsified as an alibi. Cruz has had endless opportunities to put down the rumor but has never taken a single one of them. If anything, Ted Cruz is giving us more reason to believe that he is the Zodiac! Cruz has even gone as far as to tweeting the Zodiac puzzles on his personal account, only raising more suspicion. The only way to make sure that you aren't voting for the Zodiac Killer is to not vote for Ted Cruz.

Just look.


Seems shady...

Needed more proof?

There is no way it is coincidence.

Here's more proof then


About the Creator


Twitch Affiliate and occasional funny guy

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