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It’s no surprise to you that even if you say you are not interested in fashion, that you actually mean it. Of course you are interested!

By Annaelle ArtsyPublished 2 years ago 7 min read

You use clothes and style and common sense to look good anyway. Fashion does not necessarily contain trends or high street clothes or designer items. Fashion is our personal style and the way we choose to present ourselves to the world. The first time I realised why women love fashion so much was after reading more about the Duchess of Yorkshire Georgiana Cavendish (Yes, my mom named me after a duchess and well, I live hopefully to at least reach her toes in terms of accomplishments for the world), who loved fashion very much and used fashion as a means of changing society, showing her mind, her thoughts, herself to the world, expressing her inner world to the people around her. That’s when I realised why we love specific fashion clothes or items.

It is because they remind us of a specific feeling we have when we wear them. It is because that specific clothing item was worn or seen in a very specific moment of our lives, when we registered that to obtain as an example the feeling of success or the feeling of happiness or the feeling of security or the feeling of tranquillity or the feeling of total freedom and peace someone who highlighted or made us believe they feel that way was wearing something very similar to what we want. Because our brains do shortcuts and the logical flow of events here is something as it follows:

I see this person who seems to be happy and has everything she or he wants. I like the way he or she is dressed. I like what she or he inspired me to feel or think or even act on. I want to feel like that too. Therefore, intuitively and subconsciously we will choose everything possible from that image we have in our brains of that situation to bring it to reality in our lives. And that may mean purchasing that dress or that hat or those shoes. Because in our minds, we collect those small pieces and we will soon re-create the puzzle we had seen before and we too will be happy.

It is a mixed feeling of confusion and belief that it is the things that are bringing happiness or success to that person, but it is actually the feelings we sense from that person, its energy, its life that we feel attracted to and which we actually deep-down desire. Sometimes we do not have the financial situation to get those items. But we never forget them, we may believe we do, but the next time (which can also actually be even in years’ time) we see something similar to that life perfect image we hold in our minds, we are reminded we want that. And we say, I really love this piece of clothing. It suits me so well. I love it so much. And we buy the item.

We buy the feeling we believe that item will bring to us.

Of course, there are times and lots of times, when what we buy is actually worth it because first of all, even though deep penetrated into our souls and maybe even forgotten that its root to us liking it comes from the past, it really suits us and it does look amazing on us. Because whenever we recorded that image of the situation in our brains, we recorded very well if we would actually also look good in that. We use our brains to analyse so much that it is like our second language, and so we do not realise its power. We know very well what and how to wear something to be beautiful. Of course, I have to make an amendment and a sort of a disclaimer: you must have a bit of a common sense to understand that you do not need to leave your house in a bra or in extremely short shorts or skirts to feel attractive or successful or something alike our common upside-down media portrayed value idols. I am not referring to that.

I will give you an example. When I was younger, my mom used to wear lots of skirts and dresses that seem to flow with her when she was walking. This is how I remember it. They were colourful and looked so good on her. I remember one time when she came to visit us (myself and my brother) when we were on a summer holiday with our grandparents. She had a flowery summery mid skirt along with a sleeveless body-con type like top. She had heeled wedges, hair in the wind and a stylish bag or that is what it felt to me back then and her now vintage cat eye sunglasses. I can envision that moment quite clearly and it was a hot summer day and she looked amazing. So feminine, so powerful, so lovable and so elegant and full of dignity if you understand what I mean. That image has been in my mind for such a long time, (as I remember I was around 10 years old when I pressed that record button in my brain), that only recently I realised that is the main reason I like to dress like that! That’s the reason I like heels, because I felt in that moment that my mom felt amazing wearing her clothes, and felt amazing wearing her skirt and it felt to me she is feminine yet strong and bold and having the power to achieve EVERYTHING she wants. And that feeling is what I wanted to get.

She was wearing something that I knew I need to wear myself to feel like that and become as such. Now, bear in mind, I am a fine observer. I see details especially when in relation to psychology and the human mind workings. I am very introspective and that’s probably due to my introvert nature. That’s how I developed this judgemental mind around clothes. My clothes and what I like to wear. So, when I finally wear items creating the look from my subconscious mind, I actually do feel strong, feminine, capable and so beautiful, as if everything is possible. I have a special pleasure of collecting wedges. Well, I guess, we now know why! It’s easy to walk in it, they look great, you are taller and more elegant, especially when wearing a skirt. Lady like style.

This is how a woman expresses herself. She envisions what she wants to feel like without consciously being aware of that, then she follows the trends and at one point in time, there it is the dress or fashion item that she needed to bring her to the successful life she desires. Sometimes, we register incorrect patterns of success. Clothing that is no longer appropriate for our ages or for women in general. Every single one of us has made that mistake at least once. But most of the times, from what I have realised and lived, when we admire someone very much, we are extremely attentive to how they wear themselves in the world, how they speak, how they look, what accessories they wear and so on, we observe so well the details in those moments because we are very curious and we want to have the same lifestyle as that particular person we look at to. So, when we see something, we believe looks amazing because that person influences us with its perception and because we admire and trust its thinking, we too, unknowingly become obsessed with it too, and we will buy that item with the next occasion. Again, that may even be in one year or a couple of years or even more or maybe less. But, what’s a fact, is that, we love specific fashion items because they represent something very deep to us, a feeling which we want to feel, a success we want to live, a life we want to have. They fashion items are part of that dream life or feeling and to achieve that, we also use material stuff to get that feeling. We do use our logic too, sorry to disappoint you, if you were going to say something mean, but this is how the brain actually works. Through shortcuts to keep us happy.

When we chase specific fashion items, we chase specific feelings of success or freedom or happiness which are associated with that image that we recorded in the first place.

We express ourselves so subtle.


About the Creator

Annaelle Artsy

Me, myself & I

Slow living in the reading

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