Seasonal Wardrobe Malfunction: An Epidemic

by Mimo le Singe about a year ago in tips

We know what different types of clothes are for, but this confusing weather is challenging tradition.

Seasonal Wardrobe Malfunction: An Epidemic
Don't get it twisted, I love Emily DiDonato. And this photo of her. (Photo via Tumblr)

We're almost into the second week of March and it's still somehow colder now than it was in December, January, and February combined, despite weather networks claiming it'll get warmer from here on out. Because of this, seasonal wardrobe malfunctions have become something of a widespread epidemic—in my city of Toronto, at least.

In all the Canadian winters I've experienced for almost three decades, I've noticed two particular behaviors among my fellow freezies:

  • Bravery: If I had a dollar for every time I saw men in shorts and a t-shirt and women in mini dresses and dangerously high heels strutting along to the beat of the snowflakes, I'd be in Bali right about now. Alright, that may be a slight exaggeration, and a moment of wishful thinking on my part, but still. I also have a relatively high tolerance for the cold and even I know that treating Old Man Winter's ice kingdom like my own personal runway is suicide for my body.
  • Confusion and/or feelings of defeat: People living in Toronto know exactly what I'm talking about. Those alternating intervals of freezing cold and surprisingly warm temperatures that cause you to wear the wrong type of clothing for the entire day because, in spite of everything you know about the bipolarity (all puns intended) of our climate, you nevertheless choose to believe in unfailing consistency? Needless to say, I relate to this one on a personal level.

Let's talk about the brave bears in our group first. It's true that cooler air is good for youthful skin, to a degree, but too much exposure can cause infections from bacteria getting under your weakened skin. As you've heard many times before, it can also affect your immune system, especially when you inhale, because like your skin, your nasal cavity is sensitive to anything that causes tissue thinning. Thus, presenting even more opportunities for infection. Just fantastic.

With all this in mind, there is no reason for summer to become the new winter, as far as fashion choices go. I know you're all growing impatient and probably have many holiday plans in a few months, but none of it should come at the expense of your body's survival right now. (Otherwise, what's the point of that super cute swimsuit you just got on sale?) I don't care if you don't feel cold—either way, you'll feel the effects later.

As for the rest of us, well, can we really be blamed for having so much faith in Mother Nature? We try so hard to follow the weather forecasts, and yet, we're never prepared for those last-minute comings that never seem to transition into goings until June arrives. In the meantime, we're constantly experiencing headaches and cold-related illnesses, no matter what we do.

In any case, it's best to dress warmly, even if the day starts out being warm, and simply remove layers as needed. Sure, we won't always have a place to put it all while we're out and about, but it's better to be snug than sorry. Besides, the temperature will undoubtedly drop again in a few hours anyway.

If you decide to continue hibernating during this period, I won't judge you whatsoever. After all, there's plenty of remote jobs out there and opportunities to work from home—one of the biggest perks of working as a freelancer. If you're a student, however, consider switching to online classes if possible. And make friends with your local Uber Eats. (P.S. Don't take any of this as legitimate advice, no matter how tempted you are—just know that I feel your pain.)

Mimo le Singe
Mimo le Singe
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Mimo le Singe

I'm just your average, everyday word chimp that loves entertainment media and anything creative. Happy Reading!

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