This blog stuff is hard to keep up with so ima just write whatever daily.
So i’m pretty sure one of my friends is upset at me and they deleted the app we text on. They said if i wanted to talk to them i would have to download another app that I don’t want to download for various reasons.
Anyway I didn’t say anything to my family about this cause why would i. My family started watching there latest video on YouTube and was saying stuff. It got on my nerves cause I am trying to defend my friend when my friend doesn’t even want to talk to me.
There’s a lot going on in her life and im trying my best to help her. I was making a joke saying “so you’re gonna delete this app but keep snap chat and tik tok, how rude?”
I’m a very sarcastic person by the way.
I guess she didn’t here me or understood what i meant. After our call she said that “i don’t care if its rude but “ blah blah.
I know y’all don’t know the whole situation SO PLEASE don’t pick sides because there are two sides to every story. I’m just sharing mine cause I’m upset. At myself mainly.
My legs shaking really badly. Today was rough enough. I almost cried so many times. Just about life i guess. My life at least. Just family stuff and insecurities. But i did get my haircut! My mimi (step dads mom) was kinda eh tho. She said she couldn’t do it till next week and my mom asked me what i wanted to do. I wanted it today cause i have been asking for it for a month. Then my mimi said that we can’t come over and watch the new f&f if she can’t cut my hair next week.
Well the haircut is done and no f&f. •u•. It looks pretty good tho! The hairdresser was nice too. I forgot her name. Heh-
Anyways now I gotta figure out what else to write so this can be approved.
I change my mind A LOT. So if i end up writing completely different stuff or stop writing all together that would be why.
Um i guess i could talk about some stuff.
The constant thought "everyone would be better without me" is always on my mind. When I upset someone that thought intenses. "They would be happier if i was gone." "Gosh just shut up." "Gosh you are so annoying." "It would be so much better if you were gone." Those are my constant thoughts.
Sometimes I think i am a brat. I had pho and boba today. It was so good. And now I just want to die? Gosh. I do not want to be more of a burden. It would be one less person to take care of for them though. They could have better lives. My sister would not be so mad all the time. My friends wouldn't have to put up with me. Everyones lives would be easier. I wish i could do that for them.
I can not though. I made a promise to go on. I made a promise to Jehovah to serve him and I dedicated my life to him. I am no longer living because of me but for him.
Yeah it is hard for me to go on knowing that i am a burden. I have to try. I hope you can try too.
I think this raps it up. I hope you enjoyed and i will catch up with ya'll laters! Bye!